rogue

27 irrational but legitimate thoughts every woman has after getting her eyebrows tinted.

Brows are weirdly… intimate, aren’t they?

For two strips of hair that sit above your eyes and do not a lot, they wield an uncomfortable amount of power over us depending on how they look.

So we wax them, pluck them, thread them, shave them, bleach them and tattoo them.

We also tint them, which anyone who’s ever done so will know is a risky and extremely emotional journey of epic proportions.

Because, as the ancient proverb goes, no one can screw up your life faster than your brow lady.

Immediately after.

1. They’re dark.

2. They’re REALLY DARK.

3. WHAT HAVE I DONE?

4. Why is the beautician smiling? Do they think this is… funny?

That'll be $60 thanks. Image: Giphy.

5. Will they stay like this... forever?

6. Why do I keep doing this to my eyebrows? Why can't I love them the way they are?

7. I knew I should've said something about how long to leave the tint on but I didn't want it to seem like I know how to do the beautician's job better than they do. But obviously I do, because otherwise we wouldn't be in this situation.

8. No, they don't look dark because they're wet. I know my brows aren't wet.

9. Yes, they're meant to be sisters. But more identical twin sisters rather than estranged half-step sisters.

10. It makes no difference the shape is so spot on. I now feel awful about this entire experience.

11. Do I now have to pay for these? 

12. See you six weeks.

13. Actually, I don't know when I'll see you again. Maybe never, not sure yet.

You're dead to me. Image: Giphy.
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When you get home.

14. Is that person in the car next to me looking at my brows? THEY'RE LOOKING AT MY BROWS. DON'T LOOK AT ME.

15. Maybe it was the lighting at the beauty salon that made them look so dark...

16. Oh Jesus they look worse in natural light.

17. F*CK. F*CK. F*CK. F*CK. F*CK.

18. I'll wash my face, that'll get rid of the extra tint.

19. WHY ARE THEY STILL SO DARK?

20. I look like a Russian escort. An angry Russian escort. Or Groucho Marx. Or this guy.

THIS IS ME NOW. Image: Giphy.

21. Am I allowed to ring up and complain about this?

22. They'll fade overnight, won't they?

23. Could this classify as a family emergency?

24. How much sick leave do I have?

25. How much are flights to Bali at this time of year?

Two days later.

26. I look amazing.

27. Thank you, yes I did get my brows done.

LISTEN: The Mamamia Out Loud team recommend a life-changing DIY eyebrow kit for if you aren't ready to trust anyone with your brows below...

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