This is what you have to do if you are a female popstar and you want to sell your album.

Not content with their utterly bizarre writhing-around fest that was their new clip, here is the photo shoot released by the Spice Mums to promote the single. Confusingly, the song “headlines” is about friendship, not underwear or spray tans. But Geri is all, I’ve paid good money in trainers and possibly surgery for this stomach so I would very much like it to be front and centre, so take the dam photo so I can go back to eating solid food.

And then there’s Kylie. I’m thrilled she’s feeling better after her cancer ordeal. So why do these new pictures of her, released to promote HER album, make me feel a little bit sad. She looks hot, yes. But is it just me or do all these women project desperation by dressing like this a decade (or two) after first becoming popstar sex symbols?