However, it wasn’t until they were in the car, that this mother heard the full extent of the sleepover activities, and it was definitely unorthodox.
“She told me that the mum had made them do spelling tests and maths questions and told her that she was stupid when she made mistakes,” she wrote, specifying that the spelling tests were in her child’s second language, which they “use half the time at school.”
Continuing, she said the friend’s mother has been nosy about her daughter’s school reports but this is “much, much worse”.
“Am I being unreasonable to think that this is an appalling way to treat a visiting child?” she asked Mumsnet members.
“[My daughter] is really upset and thinks she is stupid and I’m not sure whether to say something?”
Other parents agreed and said the other mum’s behaviour was unacceptable.
“That sounds weird and horrible of the hosting mum. Yes, I’d want to get to the bottom of that and tear strips off her if that’s what really went on. Your poor DD (darling daughter),” said one commenter.
“I am speechless! Your poor DD!” wrote another.
Some members tried to offer the mum advice, and said she should distance her daughter from any future play dates.
“That’s crazy behaviour. Mother sounds horrific. Distance yourself from her and have play dates for your DD’s friend around at yours instead. Hope DD is ok,” wrote one member.
“I wouldn’t allow DD to go there again and would distance myself from theall means invite her daughter over to yours for a sleepover but decline any further invites. If she asks why I would be honest and say DD didn’t enjoy it much and the girls have much more fun at yours,” wrote another.
Would you let your teen have a co-ed sleepover? Three mums discuss.
Adding their two cents, one user advised opting for direct confrontation.
“I would be back knocking on her door asking her firstly if it were true, [before] going bananas [that] she called my child stupid. What a sneaky, devious, horrible, insecure cow,” they wrote.
“It would be the last my child ever saw of that lunatic mother!”
However, another said it was better to get down to the truth, before cutting ties with her daughter’s best friend’s mum.
“She sounds like a fruit loop but I’d get the full word for word story before if DD is up to it,” she wrote.
“Just so [the mum] doesn’t try and minimise it by saying she said something like the answer was stupid etc. At least you can go, ‘you said xxxx to my DD and I don’t speak to my daughter this way as it is cruel and totally unacceptable.'”
Responding to the 100 plus comments, eventually DiDonk said she had already invited her daughter’s friend, but didn’t end up confronting the mum because she wasn’t completely fluent in the local language to manage the sensitive conversation.
“I think I probably would be on the phone right now if the best friend’s mum spoke English,”she wrote.
“I’m reasonably fluent in the local language, but when I’m upset I feel at a disadvantage and sometimes feel that I get the nuance wrong.”
Has this ever happened to your child? What would you have done in the mum’s situation? Tell us in a comment.
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