The things you should never say to a pregnant woman.

 

For some reason, when a woman announces she is pregnant it’s like her body is suddenly public property. Everyone wants to know every little detail or, even worse, make their own assumptions about what’s going on with the pregnancy.

As a woman who’s 36 weeks pregnant with her second baby, I thought I’d heard it all – until this weekend just gone when I was the subject of a new level of unwelcome comments from random people.

So, here’s a look at all the things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman:

1. “You look huge” OR “You look small”.

This one is a bit of a no brainer, surely? Us ‘preggies’ already have enough going on trying to deal with our burgeoning bodies. No matter what you say, it’s just annoying and will cause us grief – so just don’t comment on our size, full stop.

2. Say goodbye to sleep.

Oh really, I thought babies were great sleepers from the get-go?! [note, insert sarcasm here…]

3. Your relationship will never be the same.

It’s true – as a mum already, I know just how much things change in a household once that baby pops out. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s for the better. I loved my husband a great deal more once we created a little human. Yes, we don’t get the quality alone time that we used to, but what we do get is richer and more fulfilled.

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"Oh really, I thought babies were great sleepers from the get-go?!" Image via iStock.

4. Was it planned?

Um, is it any of your goddamn business?

5. Oh wow, you’re glowing/look great!

Bull-bloody-shit – if I’m glowing, it’s a sweaty sheen from hauling my ass out of the house this morning, or up that hill. I haven’t had the energy to blow dry my hair or apply proper makeup in months, and none of my clothes fit. Don't lie.

6. Can I touch your belly?

You couldn’t touch my stomach before I was pregnant, so why the hell would I let you now? It’s for my husband’s hands only, people.

7. You can’t eat that!

First pregnancy, I played by the ‘rules’ and gave sushi, soft cheese and deli goods a wide berth. This time around, I eat foods like feta and poached eggs on a regular basis – because I love them, life’s too short and because, nine times out of ten, they’re cooked properly prior to eating. Deal with it.

Sorry. No sushi for you. Image via iStock.

8. I think you’re having a girl/boy from the way you’re carrying…

Oh yes, because YOU’RE the expert on MY body and my baby [note, the only time I have appreciated this sort of comment is when a very lovely professionally trained person, who will be my daughter’s future nurse, picked what I was having straight away – those sorts of skills instil confidence, that’s for sure!]

9. “Wow, you’ll have your hands full.”

For all the second time mums, when someone sees you carting a toddler around along with your huge belly and raises an eyebrow or two...Yes, I realise I’m going to be busy and I already have anxiety about it. Just put a lid on it, ok? And before you ask, yes WE DID PLAN IT THIS WAY.

10. Oh, still going? How much longer?

GRRRRRRR. Do you have a death wish?! Yes, I still have a huge-ass belly so I clearly haven’t had the baby yet. Thank you for reminding me of just how much time is dragging.

What is something you should never say to a pregnant woman?

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