Here are all the things your poor mum never gets to hear.

There are some phrases mums never hear from their children. ..

“Mum, I got bored and did the washing up.”

“Mum, I’d like to start paying rent.”

“Mum, let me put dinner away so you have leftovers for tomorrow.”

“Mum, we never see our extended relatives, why don’t we invite them over? I could sleep on the lounge.”


It wouldn’t be right to imply all dependent children are incapable of uttering these phrases but a quick poll of the office saw a pretty big pattern emerge.

It seems that treating your room like a bunker, your phone like a handheld oxygen tank and your mother like a large house elf is pretty common.

The video playing above features some of the best phrases rarely uttered by children who live at at home.

I recommend memorising them to repeat before birthdays (yours and hers) in order to maximise their effect.

And mum, if you’re reading this, stop nodding. You know I’d do the laundry if you weren’t so good at it.