So I originally entitled this “5 Things I Need To Stop Doing” because I literally began this as a list to remind myself that I need to stop doing these things.
Watch: A comprehensive list of the things you’ll NEVER hear mums say (post continues after audio…)
So I sat down and wrote myself a list of five things that I absolutely need to stop – and I think a lot of other mums would agree:
Comparing yourself to other mothers.
Or anyone else for that matter! I’m the first to admit that I am guilty of this, it is so easy to do when you constantly see people’s highlight reels every day via social media.
The Pinterest worthy parties, the art museum worth food production for a kids lunch or fit mum with rock hard abs three hours postpartum. They might be someone’s reality, but it isn’t mine…
The $4 ice-cream cake from Woolies, squashed Vegemite sandwiches or can of baked beans, and jiggly mum-tum with tiger stripes are my reality and that’s absolutely FINE! You cannot live your life for Instagram.
Worrying what you think your kids “should” be doing.
“Does she sleep through?” “Is she walking yet?” “When did she start talking” “Is she toilet trained yet?” – These are all questions I’ve been asked I think in the last 48 hours.
These days I feel people get so caught up on what their child ‘should’ be doing!? There are apps dedicated to tracking your child’s EXACT development, sending parents into meltdown when their child doesn’t hit a milestone at the exact moment it tells you they should.
The only time you should ever be concerned is when you or a medical practitioner feel there is a need for concern, and even then it’s nobody else’s business.
Trying to please everyone.
Since becoming a parent, I always feel that there is at least one part of my life that I’m ‘dropping the ball’ at. Whether it’s work, my kids, my husband or my friends – I always feel like I am letting someone down.
I am slowly coming to realise that it is just a fact of life and sometimes you cannot please everyone. Can’t make a friends birthday? So be it and if they are angry or annoyed at you well then that’s their problem and I cannot plague myself with guilt about it (I still do, but I’m working on it haha).
Listen: This Glorious Mess have called it. Scoring a play date is like dating for parents (post continues after audio...)
Feeling the need to justify doing anything for yourself.
This one absolutely sh*ts me, because every damn day I see another mother shamed for going out, having some me time and being away from her kids.
The number of times a woman does something for herself, goes out and enjoys time with her husband or friends, or even travels sans children does not automatically equate to how good of a mother she is or isn’t?
In 2017, women should not be expected to be these stay-at-home types who live and breathe for their children and/or husbands. Same goes if you do want to stay home with your kids and bake cookies all day – GO FOR IT! Who cares?
And worst of all, the culprits are usually other women doing the pointing the finger!
Giving a f*ck.
I think that this one basically sums up each of the above nicely – and it all comes down to one thing! GIVE LESS F*CKS!!!
I definitely think I’m getting much better at this since becoming a mother. My tolerance levels for things have depleted to an absolute minimum, especially when it comes to other people’s bullsh*t! Because let’s be honest, when you’re being yelled at by a pint-sized dictator everyday about the most trivial of things, who the hell needs to take that sh*t from an adult – not me.
You know what? I had a few wines while I was pregnant, I didn’t birth my babies naturally, I both breast and bottle fed, my kids watch screens, I sometimes feed them packet food, and I most certainly lose my sh*t on a pretty regular basis.
I’m not perfect, nor do I claim to be and I honestly don’t give two hoots if you aren’t either! I only care if you’re keen to come over and have a vino with me while out kids fight over toys?
Now all that's left for me to do is actually take my own advice, because boy it's easier said than done, am I right ladies?
This post originally appeared on House of White.