kids

The things I’ve done to my kids that I am chalking up “character building.”

On the weekend my kids had plans.

Big plans.

We were headed to a 10am special advance screening of  Ice Age Collision Course that we’d kindly scored tickets to.

They’d told their friends, they’d googled the trailer. They watched the first and second Ice Age as preparation.

Our home was filled with constant references to Sis, Manny, Diego and Scrat.

They were over the moon to be going somewhere so special.

They were so excited to see the movie.  Image via YouTube.

To top that as soon as it finished there was a friend’s party starting bang on 12.

A disco party in a nearby hall.

You couldn’t beat the timing.  It was like the planning gods were shining a light on us.

My kids woke early, they dressed themselves, they even PUT THEIR SHOES ON.

It was a sight to behold.

Nothing could go wrong.

Until it did.

Ice Age”? Oh no. That’s not at this cinema" the puzzled lady at the counter told three shining faces.

"That’s at the cinema across town. Only its 10 now. I don’t think you’ll make it."

I’d misread (or not actually read at all) the address clearly printed on the tickets.

Taking pity on me she quietly explained about another movie that was about to start if I wanted to buy tickets only there weren’t four together so we’d need to sit a little way apart.

My wallet aching and my children only now slightly disappointed we trudged in to the darkened room to watch a blue fish crack jokes about memory loss.

Surely they won't be that disappointed. Via IStock.

I was comforted by the fact that once they arrived at the 12 o’clock party they’d forget the fact their mother could not read properly.

Comforted all way until about 11am when my phone, on silent began to madly flash in my handbag. I snuck a look (because well, it was a kids movie and half the adults were secretly checking their phones anyway) and was hit with a barrage of messages.

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You guys are missing the party. Is everything okay?

Turns out I really can’t read. It had started at 10am. Not 12.

The thing with parenting is that you can either wallow in self pity and beat yourself up at about what an idiot you are, about how you'd caused great disappointment to your beloved children. You can vow to make it up to them and beg them for forgiveness.

I'm just adding it to a long list of ways I am building “resilience” in my three kids. Via IStock.

Or you can just tell them you are sorry, you made a mistake and chalk up the disappointment to being character building.

I'm just adding it to a long list of ways I am building “resilience” in my three kids.

(AKA: Mistakes I’ve made to disappoint and humiliate my offspring.. just a damn shame we missed a good movie in order to do it.)

The rest of the list:

1.  I have forgotten to pack their lunch for school.

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare.

Before your kids start school you often wake up in a cold sweat about it. The thought of your child happily trotting out at the lunch bell, opening up their school bag, tummy grumbling, wondering what yummy treats mummy or daddy have packed, what nutritious sandwich, what shapes their fruit and veggies had been cut into today. They eagerly take their backpack down from the hook, they reach in and….

Nothing.

Not a thing. Not a rotten banana. Not a half empty packet of Shapes.

Nothing.

Not a rabbit face sandwich in sight. Image supplied.

They look around in despair. Hunger pains wracking their body watching the other kids tuck into cute Bento boxes filled with circus themed sandwiches and flasks of home made soup still warm.

The other kids got fed because the other kids mummies love them.

Yes I was that parent.

Post continues after video.

2.  Forgotten it was dress up day at school.

It’s dress up day Mum.

No that’s next week.

I’m sure my teacher said it was today.

No I checked the calendar its next week. "Dress as your favourite book character."

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I think its today.

Its not. Get in the car.

(5 Mins later)

Muuuuuuuum why are three Harry Potters and a bunch of Where’s Wallys waking down the street?

Whoops.

Why is everyone else dressed up? Via IStock.

3.    Sent my kids to dress up day at school on the wrong day.

This was at least a year later. I promise. But bound to happen right?

I was convinced. Convinced.

Sorry guys.

4.    “Forgotten” to pick them up from a party.

On the plus side they got extra cake while the party parents waited for me to turn up.

Um, yeah about the fact there is no one else there... Via IStock.

5.     Sent them back to school a day early.

It is very confusing all these pupil free days and public holidays.

But it’s better than a day late right?

6.   Skipped the athletics carnival because my favourite store was having an outlet sale.

It’s all about building resilience.

7.    Left my son inside the house when I went out.

I never meant to.

I truly didn’t mean to. I had a house full of extra kids and we were going to the park, some kids ran ahead, some were with me, we all set out, only to get half way down the street to have one child pipe up.

Where’s Odie?

It was like Home Alone 4: Child left on toilet.

8.     Taken money from my daughter’s moneybox to give to charity collectors at the front door.

Who keeps cash at home these days anyway?

9.    Been the only parent not to let my kids go to a night time birthday party/ not to let my kids get the showbag/ not to let my kids have a sleepover.

I’m okay with saying no. They can deal with it.

I'll see the next one surely.. Via IStock.

10. Been on my phone when my son scored his first goal.

And when my daughter finally managed that backflip and when my other son swam the length of pool underwater.

Do it again honey. I’ll watch this time.

Don't you remember you ate them last week? Image supplied.

11. Eaten my kids’ Easter Eggs/ party bags/ Christmas Santa coins and told them they must have finished them.

Or the dog ate them.

12. “Donated” all the old toys to the goodwill bin without consulting my kids.

And “accidentally” put in the nosiest most annoying toys they have.. that they never wanted to part with.. in.

Loss is a part of life kids.

What have you done to your kids you are now racking up as being character building?

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