People are annoying. The people you love? Especially so.
You know when you just hate your partner? Not hate-hate them. But, you know, find them really really unbearably annoying.
It’s probably something small they do, some tiny niggly habit they have. You try and put it out of your mind but you can’t. So you stew over it. For hours. Until it becomes of big glob of irrational fury you just want to hurl in their face.
Often the rage will stem entirely from your own lunacy (I’m kidding you’re partner is obviously to blame, they are clearly intolerable) and you definitely shouldn’t say it out loud lest they discover how truly insane you are and leave you (they won’t, you are a fantastic goddess).
BUT you do need to get it all out SOMEHOW and we’ve just discovered a fun new way to do it.
It’s a game called ‘Things I wish I could yell at my significant other’. It’s played pretty much how you imagine it might be.
Let the rage-typing begin…
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING SO SLOWLY??! LIKE HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET DRESSED, YOU LITERALLY WEAR THE SAME THING EVERY DAY?!
NO. WE CAN NOT HAVE SEX. I WENT THE BED THREE HOURS AGO. YOU WERE WATCHING ANIME THAT WHOLE TIME I WAS HERE AND READY TO GO. BUT NO. YOU DECIDED TO SPEND YOUR TIME WITH BUSTY JAPANESE ANIMATED CARTOONS.
WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THE FEELINGS OF ANIMALS BUT HAVE ZERO EMPATHY FOR HUMAN BEINGS YOU STUPID VEGAN IDIOT.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POO EIGHT TIMES A DAY. THAT IS NOT HEALTHY. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. STOP DRINKING SO MANY PROTEIN SHAKES, YOU FREAK.
Why can you not get through one lunch date without checking how many ‘favourites’ your last ~hilarious~ Tweet received? Do you really think Twitter can’t survive without you for ONE hour???
WHY DO YOU TAKE SO LONG TO COOK DINNER, I KNOW YOU ENJOY THE PROCESS BUT IT DOESN’T TAKE AN HOUR TO MAKE PESTO PASTA AND I AM REALLY HUNGRY.
Why do you wait until I am FINISHED getting ready before you start getting ready?!
Why did you lecture me about not being Christian, trying to convert me, telling me I should believe in The Lord and put my faith in trust in him every 2 days when you cheated on me the entire 6 years we were together?
Why did you tell me we should abstain from sex (because you are religious) when you had one stands every time you are out of town for a gig?
How much can you REALLY talk about football? I mean you go to the football on Friday night, Saturday all day, watch it Saturday night, all day Sunday, and then you play fantasy football and go to footy tipping at the pub on Thursdays. And then you come home and all you talk about/watch/listen to/read is football related. WHY?