“Things I have done while miscarrying.”

Hoped.

Waited.

Cried.

Felt like a failure, staring at an empty space on a screen where a baby should be.

Cried some more.

Cried again, because why not?

Sat on the toilet with a blanket on and a cat in my lap, napping between cramps.

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Scrubbed blood out of a bathtub, out of tiles, out of towels and underwear.

Watched TV.

Worked.

Ate potato chips.

Cried because I didn’t know what to have for breakfast.

Read pregnancy forums, obsessively.

Ran until I couldn’t breathe properly.

Yelled. At the medical receptionist, my sister, Netflix.

Apologised. For crying and yelling, and for my body not doing what it’s supposed to do.

Hoped. Waited. Cried. Repeat.

Asked my husband ‘Why can’t they just fucking stay in there?’.

Cleaned the house.

Watched TV.

Slept.

Laughed.

Loved.

Hoped.

Rebecca Sparrow talks to Mia Freedman about her stillborn baby Georgie…

This week, as part of Never Forgotten: Mamamia’s Pregnancy Loss Awareness Week we’re remembering the babies we’ve lost. Post continues below.

If you need support for miscarriage, still birth or newborn loss, Sands Australia have a 24 hour help line you can call 1300 072 637.

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