Don’t miss the mark on these DUH sex moves, guys!
By: Eden Strong for YourTango.com
Your sex life might be good but aren’t there always a few things that could make it, well, better? Quick answer: YES. How do I know? Over a glass of wine (or several), I flat out asked my friends if their sex life was everything they wanted it to be. I was surprised to hear their answers weren’t about what their partners were doing, they were about the things that they weren’t doing.
While they unanimously agreed that their sex was swell, they also all agreed they just wanted a little more of these eight things. Listen up, gents!
1. Whisper in our ears.
When we’re getting our sexy on, we obviously want to feel sexy and when you whisper in our ear how sexy we are, it really gets us going. Tell us why you enjoy being with us and I guarantee we’ll reciprocate your efforts.
2. Tell us why you think we're beautiful.
Every girl wants to feel beautiful, duh. But it’s not just enough to tell us that we are beautiful; us emotionally complicated creatures want assurance as to why you believe this to be true. Yes, we love that you think we have a "sexy ass” and “amazing tits,” but while you're under those sheets, we'd also like to be reminded of our beautiful smile and our amazing eyes. Every lady wants to be beautiful from head to toe, not just boobs to ass. We want to be the women of your dreams, not just the women of your fantasies.
3. Ask us what we like … and really mean it.
Every single girl I know has been with at least one guy who was going at it while saying things like, “You like that? Oh yeah baby, you like that!” Um, if you're telling us that we like it, chances are you didn't even bother to ask us. So ask! And when you ask us, we want you to really ask us. Don’t make the act of asking a rhetorical ego booster that makes you feel like you're “doing us right.” Ask if we like what you're doing because you really want to do us right, not because you're assuring yourself that you are. Trust us, ladies want to be having just as much fun as you would like to think we are having, but we don't all like the same things so do yourself a favor and find out what gets us going.
4. More foreplay!
Most men I know can go from 0 to 60 in half a second but it takes women a lot longer. Sure, a quickie is nice every once in a while, but why rush it? We want and need foreplay to get us ready for the grand finale. We know you're excited but give us a little time to get there as well. Not to mention that not only does foreplay feel hella good, but knowing that you're focused on making our entire body tingle will make us want to return the favour.
5. We want less control. I mean more. I mean ...
This one was a split pole when I questioned my friends. Half wanted their men to take charge and rough it up a bit. "He's so respectful of me that he's almost afraid of using any force in the bedroom but what I really want is for him to grab me and take control," said one of my friends. I'm obviously not suggesting turning up the roughness to full volume without your woman's consent but you'd be surprised how many of us enjoy playing a more passive role in the bedroom and want nothing more than for you to run the show. That's one opinion. The other other half of my friends said they wanted their man to back off a bit and let them take the reins. "I feel like as a woman I have a lot less control in the real world than a man does and there's nothing hotter than switching that up and being the one in charge in the bedroom," another friend said. So for this one men, please refer to #3 and find out which side of this opinion your lady leans to.