fitness

‘I’m a personal trainer. Here are my 7 dos and don'ts of the gym.'

Perhaps it’s a case of not getting out enough and being inappropriately aroused by mobile ankles (don’t ask), but if you ask this personal trainer, you can put your damn abs away and get me all hot and bothered by doing the following:

1. Prioritising form over ego.

Not to be crass, but there is no greater boner killer than some douchebag grunting and sweating as they heave around weights that are clearly beyond them. Exactly what are we trying to achieve here other than petrifying women and children? 

On the flip-side my grunty friend, if you really want my attention, use an appropriate weight that allows you to move with beautiful control and flawless form... with minimal jungle sounds.

While you're here, watch how the horoscopes work out. Post continues after video.


Video via Mamamia.

2. Putting your sh*t away.

Using 8 x 20kg weight plates on a machine and proceeding to walk away as the hapless chap working on the gym floor has to schlep back your sh*t to where it belongs is the equivalent of being a jerk to the waiter on a first date – a deal breaker. 

Sadly, this happens so often that when a normal human being actually puts the weights away that they used, it’s instant love-heart-eyes emoji.

Actually, that person is me. I put away weights. In fact, I do not only put away my weights; I tidy the weights around them. Where the f**k are the love-heart-eye emojis for me??? WHERE???

3. Daring to be different.

The men-folk lift the heavy things on the gym floor and the lady-folk do the grape-vines in aerobics. As I extract myself from 1970, there is no denying certain activities at the gym still have a type. 

While this archetype is absolutely changing, there is something so beautifully vulnerable about participating in whatever activity you want despite being the only one of your type in said situation.

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4. Asking for help.

What is it about not being a know-it-all-d*ckhead that is so damn appealing? Never mind. No one knows better than an individual with a gym membership and an internet connection, so when someone actually seeks out your expert advice, it’s a delightful breath of fresh air.  

Or maybe it’s because I have a captive audience and I like the sound of my own voice. IDK.

5. Being listened to.

When I was training to become a group fitness instructor, we were told the rather depressing statistic that participants in our classes would listen to only 5 per cent of what we said. 

So you can imagine, while we are teaching a class and we lock on to someone listening to over and above the quota of 5 per cent (and trust me, even in a room of 100 people we know who you are), I can say with certainty and I speak on behalf of my fellow group fitness instructors: WE LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I love you right there and then. You had me at looking in my general vicinity with mildly interested eyes.

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6. Cheering someone else on.

The gym floor is notoriously a head down, earphones in, individual pursuit even though you might be surrounded by 20 other people trying to achieve the same goal. So it’s hot as hell when someone breaks the mould and compliments a stranger on their achievement.

A congrats on a personal best. A nice one for beautiful technique. In a world where we are sometimes too scared to say anything at all, a genuine heart-felt compliment will indisputably make someone’s (and your, and my) day.

Image: Instagram @marie_anagnostis. 

7. Being YOU.

Nothing makes my heart sing more than seeing people wear whatever the f**k they want in the gym. Owning it is the perfect accessory and I want in on that energy any day of the week!

Marie doesn’t get out much and has been a fitness industry professional since 2005 and currently owns UBX Boxing + Strength in Belconnen (Canberra). Marie is a qualified Personal Trainer, Les Mills group fitness instructor, CrossFit coach and Pilates teacher. You can follow her on  Instagram.

Feature Image: Instagram @marie_anagnostis.

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