lifestyle

A handy guide for sharing what you eat without pissing off the internet.

Therese Kerr’s Day on a Plate makes Pete Evans’ look normal.

Editor’s Note: Over the weekend, Fairfax’s Sunday Life interviewed Miranda Kerr’s mother Therese Kerr about what she eats and drinks on a normal day.

The section, called My Day On a Plate, is a regular feature of the magazine, but never before has it garnered this much attention. And with a diet that consists like homemade kefir, reverse osmosis water and rooibos tea, it’s little wonder that it got everyone talking. 

You can read more about Therese Kerr’s Day on a Plate here.

For anyone who still isn’t sure how to share what they eat without pissing off the internet, here is a handy guide – written by Alyx Gorman:

How to do a ‘My day on a plate’ without becoming a laughing stock.

1 – Write down what you eat in a day.

2 – If the word organic appears more than once, remove all instances except the most important.

3 – Nothing too foreign.

4 – Details matter. Don’t include any details about your preferred water filtration/nut softening/vegetable charming methods.

5 – Remember, this is a chance to showcase how normal you are.

6 – Log onto the Coles website and see what’s on special at the moment. Claim to eat that.

7 – Add up all the calories in your day. Make sure they add up to exactly 1800 so the Daily Mail can’t write an article about your eating disorder.

8 – If someone asks you to write a list of everything you eat, and you’re not in hospitality/food services, say no. You can’t win this.

9 – Unless you say you eat Vegemite on toast for breakfast.

10 – Just say you eat Vegemite on toast for breakfast.

What does your day on a plate look like?

Want more? Try these…

Miranda Kerr’s mum has a diet that makes Pete Evans’ look normal.

This lady’s ‘Day On A Plate’ is disturbingly healthy. And it didn’t take long for the internet to hit back.

This man has activated nuts. Seriously. 

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