Some things are just unacceptable. Some things are so unacceptable that when someone does them in your presence, you suddenly don’t want to have sex with them, even if you were considering it a moment ago.
Like wearing Crocs. Or not tipping. Or living with their parents over the age of 30. Or kissing badly. Or using the word ‘panties’.
When you’re single, these things are called Dating Dealbreakers (when you’re in a relationship, they’re just called Things About You That Piss Me Off, although the no-sex outcome is often the same).
Dating Dealbreakers are the invisible little lines we have in our heads which, when crossed, make the person who crossed them instantly unappealing. Sometimes we don’t even know a particular line existed until it’s crossed. And then it’s too late.
Dating Dealbreakers are responsible for many new relationships not getting past the first or second date mark. This is the time Dealbreakers usually rear their heads, when the ecosystem is so delicate that the slightest thing can cause irreparable damage.
Person One innocently does something that grates on Person Two so severely, that Person Two immediately decides they can never see Person One again. Instantly, sex is off the table.
Sadly, Person Two is almost always blind to the fact they’ve committed a Dealbreaker and Person One will rarely be honest enough to tell them. So Person Two is forced to blunder on through the dating wilderness until he or she happens upon someone with entirely different Dealbreakers. Someone who isn’t bothered by the way Person Two answers their mobile during dinner. Or that they can’t drive. Or that they wax their chest. Or have a monobrow. Or wear too much perfume.
Dating Dealbreakers are not necessarily rational. Nor are they always fair. And they are highly individual. What may be intolerable to one person may be no big deal to another.
“If a guy wears shoes without socks, I’m outta there,” shudders one girlfriend. “I have a thing about cutlery,” rants another. “It kills it for me when a guy holds his fork in his right hand like a spear and his knife in his left.” “Too much fake tan” says a guy friend. “It stinks, looks stupid and all I can think about is how it will stain my sheets if we have sex.”