Thankfully, writing for her blog and social media channels is a form of therapy for her.
“To be honest, I think it’s still going and I’m writing this as a way to 1) stop chewing my husband’s ear off and 2) vent my emotions and irrational thoughts out of my system,” she wrote.
“It started kicking in the afternoon when both boys were asleep. I had a few hours to myself and amongst general housekeeping, my brain started to go all cray-cray on me. Am I tired? Yes. Am I hormonal? Yes. Am I emotional today because of the above? Yes.”
Sophie tried everything to alleviate her panic attack, from running to park to being in pitch black but nothing was helping.
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“Although what I wanted to do was run, run, run, cry, scream and keep running. Run from what? I don’t know. Good old anxiety, hey? I now fear the night ahead that it could peak again at any moment, and I’m vulnerable because I don’t take my medication while pregnant (I haven’t actually needed to until now!)
“Catching my husband’s concerned look in his eyes should make me feel better because he cares, when in fact it makes me feel worse because I feel like I’m burdening him. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you Sophie?’ as I stare off into space and fight back bursting in to tears for no apparent reason.
“My rational thought realises I have a few big changes coming up. Between stressing over moving house interstate this week, a holiday I’m not sure I really want to go on, and a baby I’m so petrified to have – I’m just one big preggo ball of anxious mess tonight. Hormotional – that’s pretty much perfect right now. Anxiety – will you be in my life forever? I really fucking hope not.”
Listen to our team at Mamamia discuss anxiety. (Post continues after audio.)
In a recent interview with Show + Tell, Sophie explained that there doesn’t necessarily have to be a “trigger” for someone to develop anxiety.
“When I started to see psychologists, they’d say, ‘Have you suffered any trauma?’ And I’m sitting there going, ‘No, I’ve just got engaged, I’ve got a beautiful healthy baby, and I’ve got a wonderful family’,” she explained.
“You start to think, ‘What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I feeling like this?'”
Her willingness to share, and show the difficult and human side to anxiety, has resonated with thousands of women across Australia.
We can only stand in admiration of Sophie.