Please, before you come for me in the DMs, just know that I am fragile.

I have something to tell you…

I haven't worn mascara all year.

Welllllllll, except for that one GRWM video I did for work where everyone collectively decided to point out that I was, in fact, wearing mascara. My followers are FBI-level investigators when it comes to my hypocrisy, and frankly, I'm into it. But aside from that one professional lapse in judgment, my eyelashes have been living their best rawdogging lives.

Watch: The Mamamia Out Loud hosts discuss the 'Ghost lashes' trend. Post continues below.

' Ghost lashes' are the latest trend that's specifically making my gen-X friends angry. It started at the Met Gala when 'it-girl' Sofia Richie and 'it-popstar' Lorde rawdogged their lashes making them look slightly unwell but very expensive.

The trend then hit the runways and before we knew it, the "cool kids" (and myself) decided that not wearing mascara (read: looking like you just woke up from a 12-hour nap) was the way forward.

When I brought this up to my colleagues, the pushback was immediate (and lowkey violent). My Mamamia Out Loud co-host Holly Wainwright told me (and I quote) "You can pry my mascara from my cold dead hands Em". Wow. She says that those of us not blessed with naturally charcoal-coloured features look like "elderly babies" and you know what? I see it. Hol actually made some very good points about the new 'ghost lashes' trend, you can read her words here in the Mamamia Out Loud substack.

So what actually is the 'ghost lashes' trend?

The concept is simple: you wear everything but mascara. Yes that's right, the thick gooey black product that has dominated our faces for a decade. On the runway, it looks ethereal. In real life, as my other co-host Clare Stephens pointed out, it can be discriminatory against blondes.

But for those following the trend, it's about a "raw" aesthetic. One commenter put it perfectly: "It's a backlash against all the crazy massive fake lashes, and I'm all for that!"

Now, I am aware of my privilege here. I am cursed (yes, cursed) with thick, dark hair that covers every single square inch of my body. My eyelashes are black, my brows are bushy, and so is everything else from the neck down. If you want to trade your blonde lashes for my $2,000-a-year laser hair removal bill, be my guest. The grass is always greener, except my grass needs a weed whacker.

The problem with having thick, dark lashes is that they are heavy. Without intervention, they don't flutter; they just sit there, literally blocking my vision. In other words… I look like a camel.

Why I finally ditched the goop.

I gave up the mascara for a few reasons. Firstly, I am a chronic eye-rubber. Whether I'm reading stressful email or watching a sad movie or simply experiencing 3pm at my desk, I will systematically smear black pigment across my face as if I'm an extra in a Mad Max film. Secondly, mascara is a white-towel's nightmare and my bathroom sink used to look like I had murdered a squid.

But the final straw? The Great Stye of 2025.

Last year, I developed an eye infection so aggressive it should have had its own postcode. Feel free to request photographic evidence as I fear if I include it in this piece, I'd be reported for inflicting violence. I had to travel across the country, standing on stages in front of hundreds of clients, looking like I'd lost a fight with a wasp. It lasted two weeks. I am scarred. I am scared. I am done with thick goo near my tear ducts. As someone else with recurring eye infections told me: "I am here for this trend and I hope it never leaves."

Listen to the Mamamia Out Loud host's heated discussion on the 'ghost lashes' trend. Post continues below.

The $17 product that tricks everyone.

Despite my strike against the mascara industry, people keep complimenting my lashes. "Did you get a lash lift?" "Are those extensions?" "Em, your eyes look so bright."

I've been gatekeeping the secret, but because I love you, I'm coming clean. It's The Ordinary Lash Curl Finisher.

The Lash Curl Finisher is currently $17.20 at Priceline. It is essentially a clear, lightweight coating for your lashes.

Here is my routine: I gently curl my lashes (using a eyelash curler obv), then, I swipe on this clear finisher. It's not thick, it's not clumpy, and it doesn't leave those weird white flakes that make you look like you have lash dandruff (been there).

It acts like hairspray for your eyes. My lashes stay up, curled, and separated for the entire day. It tricks the world into thinking I've made an effort when, in reality, I've just done the bare minimum to not look like a 2-humped mammal.

And most importantly, I've saved my white towels from a slow, charcoal death.

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If you want more from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: Supplied.

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