If you were born in 1991, the odds are you’re driving a car and have never known life without a mobile phone. Put me in the nursing home now. To me, twenty years seems like nothing. Here’s a snapshot of the defining moments of the last two decades, as seen by me.
1991 Thelma and Louise hit the cinemas, and I formed an instant attraction to country music and a young actor called Brad Pitt. I got over the country music.
1992 Prince Charles and Princess Diana separated. I don’t know why anyone was surprised. They hadn’t appeared to like each other very much since their wedding day. And even then…
1993 I spent this year living in a share house with my friend Jacqui and her boyfriend Chook. It’s a bit of a blur. Apparently Dyson introduced the bagless vaguum cleaner in April that year. Oops, missed that. In fact, we missed any kind of cleaning device.
1994 Lisa Marie Presley married Michael Jackson. I remember calling my sister and asking if she believed it. She said, ‘Of course! No one could make that up.’
1995 I flirted with the idea of buying a house. But the average house in Brisbane was $147,000. Outrageous! I stayed in the share house.
1996 Bridget Jones’s Diary was published. This was the book of my time. Dodgy boyfriends, too much wine, not enough focus. Note to self: Dig out and read again.
1997 Princess Diana died. I held a ‘grief get-together’ (at another share-house) and cooked Steak Diana and served it (somberly), with Princess Potatoes.
1998 Amazing lolly-coloured iMacs were launched. I was working for Apple’s ad agency. When my ‘berry’ computer arrived I had never seen anything so stunning. Until my mate Damian unpacked his ‘teal’ one.
1999 Spent the year planning for the millennium bug. It never arrived. Strangely disappointing.
2000 Sydney Olympics. Everyone went a bit mental and spent too much money on tickets to Greco-Roman wrestling and unattractive commemorative caps.
2001 Al Queda attacked the USA. The USA started looking for Osama bin Laden.
2002 Kath & Kim arrived on the ABC. They were noice, different, unusual.
2003 Nicole Kidman won Best Actress Oscar for The Hours. Few people saw the movie but nobody missed her nose.
2004 One of that year’s biggest news stories involved two singers, a boob and a football match. I’m sure other stuff happened, but you’d never have guessed.
2005 Hurricane Kartrina devastated the south coast of the USA. On the upside, we got to see lots of footage of Brad Pitt being manly and helpful.
2006 Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin died. Everyone was shocked at how shocked everyone was.
2007 Kevin Rudd became Prime Minister. In a lucky break for the Labor Party’s ad people, ‘Kevin,’ rhymes with ‘Seven.’
2008 I pulled my car over to make my kids listen to Barack Obama speak after being voted the 44th president of the United States and the first black one. My kids couldn’t see why it was a big thing, which made me happy and sad at the same time.