IKEA has finally made the decision to rectify our stress levels. IKEA Australia is trialling (yes, we’re one of the first in the world) an on-line store.
This is a game changer. It’s like the invention of Paywave, the iPhone, chicken salt, when they got rid of money in monopoly and replaced it with a credit card and stick on earrings.
The ability to shop online at Ikea is good for our houses. It’s a plus for our lifestyle goals. But, most importantly, it’s a win for longevity and clear skin.
There is a direct correlation between visiting IKEA and rising stress levels. Stress is bad for longevity people, it’s science. It not only shortens your lifespan it causes stress pimples. Again science or someone told me that in Year 10 which is kind of the same.
Even hearing the word is stressful. It whispers opportunity and SCREAMS commitment. Yes, that lamp, that couch, those cushions, or the trendy glass Tupperware containers that are healthy AND durable… all those things are opportunities for an easier, more space-efficient, more stylish life. But do they justify the utter commitment it takes to attain them?
That, right there, is the catch.
There’s the travel time. The car parking spot. The maze (that tells you which way you are allowed to walk). The engineer’s pencils. Did we mention being told which way to walk? And, when you think you’re done, you hit the concreted loading area, where you slip a disc in your back and play hide-and-seek with all the items you’ve listed on your fancy paper, while trying not to run anyone over with your uncooperative trolley.
All the while you have a running budget in your head – accounting for all those extra items that have latched to you like magnets (without you realising, of course) and you’re trying to think of everything you might possibly need, because you don’t want to have to put yourself through this ordeal again any time soon. That’s when you see the meatballs for $2.99. Who wants meatballs with a trolley full of furniture? It’s a Swedish store. Surely vodka should be on the menu?
Then your outside. You have to work out how everything is going to fit in the car. You pack and repack and share exhausted, knowing glances with strangers walking into IKEA who are really saying, “See this strange man next to me with the too high pants? His an engineer from Melbourne University I’ve hired for the day so I can negate entirely the problem you are currently experiencing.”