Every year The Block rolls around, I tell myself: I will not watch hours upon hours of home renovations again. Watching people decide on throw pillows and fight over power tools isboring.And I amimportantand have so manybetterthings to do.Instead, I will spend my precious hours doing something productive. Like learning Spanish! Or writing a novel! Or decorating my OWN apartment, which is currently covered in a light dusting of crumbs.

I told myself all these things, but then a hammock-sleeping human named ‘Wombat’ stumbled onto my television screen. Long story short, I’m locked in for another year of exposed wooden beams and rose gold taps.

I will sit through this ridiculousness for you and you alone, my love.

Because I care very little about what happens between Monday to Thursday on this show, I will be recapping Sunday episodes, the only time when anything of slight importance happens.

You might notice that today is absolutely not a Sunday, and before we even begin I have gone rogue, but take it up with the Channel Nine producers/Scott Cam who rudely interrupted my schedule and gave the contestants a 48-hour spare bedroom challenge.

TO THE ROOM REVEALS!

Last place: Clint and Hannah

Theme:Grandma's lavender haven of no thank you

Cost:Too much for the end result

Notable quote from the judges:"Th

Click through to see the before and afters...

Clint and Hannah's spare bedroom

Hannah and Clint

Before

Bleh. Meh. Bleh.

Oh okay cute pillow.

Meeeeeehhhhhhhh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Welcome to the spare bedroom that Clint and Hannah were weirdly proud of, but kinda looks like a three-star bed and breakfast in Tasmania.

I'm no Shaynna Blaze, and maybe I do have a suspicious looking mould growing on my bathroom ceiling, but this bedroom was... a bit blergh. A bit... meh. A bit... my grandmother legitimately has those curtains in her house right now.

We'd expect this from Clint and Hannah in the first room reveal, considering they're an ex-footy player and flight attendant who don't have the faintest clue in how to renovate a house.

So, you know, they're probably nice people, but will definitely be the couple the judges slam all season.

Fourth place: Sticks and Wombat

Theme:'We cannot buy artwork. We have terrible taste in artwork. Someone please stop us from buying artwork.'

Cost:$4300

Notable quote from the judges:"

Click through to see the before and afters...

Sticks and Wombat's spare bedroom

Sticks and Wombat

Before

After

What... the hell... is with that artwork. I do not like it. I do not like it at all.

Cute leafy pillow tho.

Manly timber thingz

Uh...that greeny oceany artwork above the bed is atrocious.It's just... not right. At all. I'm guessing this is exactly what Le Vogue Judge Man was talking about because it's burning my corneas a little bit.

The boys also forgot that someone in possession of fallopian tubes might need to sleep in this bedroom one day, and will need storage for our totally necessary 107 beauty products. You know, a bedside table or two wouldn't go astray fellas. Without them, where on Earth are our moisturisers, makeup wipes, contact lenses, spare snacks, hair ties, bobby pins, breath mints, tampons, nail scissors and contraceptive pills gonna go, Sticks and Wombat? WHERE ARE THEY GONNA GO?

Women need bedside tables. Otherwise, there are tampons and bobby pins flying everywhere. It's not pretty. I cannot stress this enough. Shaynna, I'm trusting that as a member of the sisterhood you pulled Sticks and Wombat up on this grave error in judgement.

Third place: Sarah and Jason

Theme:CUSHIONS

Cost:

Notable quote from the judges:"What I'm really seeing here is a real respect for the bones of the house"

Sarah and Jason's spare bedroom

Sarah and Jason

Before

After

CUSHIONS