It’s KID’S BEDROOM WEEK friends!
There was a rock climbing wall. A giant gold rhino. Many, many tears rolling down the faces of Clint and Hannah. AND, dear sweet readers, there was a perfect room that received a big ol’ 10 from Le Vogue Judge Man.
But shhhhhh because the hero of this episode was definitely this man right here:
:') so many feels.
Let's get into it, shall we?
Clint and Hannah: 22/30
In a nutshell, Hannah was ready to deliver the best damn children's room Elsternwick has ever seen when bloody Clint went rogue and put a sliding glass door in.
Memo: Putting an escape door in a child's bedroom is... not ideal. Take it from the woman who had a sliding glass door in her bedroom as a child. It's a wonder we're all here doing this, honestly.
When it came to this sliding door travesty, Shaynna said, “They’re jumping in too quickly and not thinking about the consequences” which legitimately describes every relationship I had between the ages of 18 and 22.
Anyway, guys, did anyone hear those curtains are from Carpet Court? They're from CARPET COURT. It was absolutely vital Hannah recites CARPET COURT to us on a number of occasions in a very laid back, chilled, totally candid way. Because someone's gotta raise the fund$ for Scott Cam's paycheck, and this week that person is Hannah.
Hannah and Clint also cried a lot when they were crowned the worst room, but I guess that's the price you pay when you make wealthy spoilt brats a flight risk.
Click through to see Clint and Hannah's kid's room...
Elyse and Josh: 23/30
Woah woah woah woah. What is the world's most perfect couple doing in second last place? What do you MEAN they only got 23/30? What is... happening?!
I'll tell you what's happening. Elyse and Josh got rid of every f*cking heritage element in their room which, obviously, is a f*cking tragedy that made every single judge keel over in pain.
“It’s quite bland… it's insipid," the judges spluttered through snot-filled sobs. "You need to respect that this house was transported from the 1910s."
Sure, Elyse and Josh put a freakin' big ass mezzanine in their bedroom, but that doesn't matter. ONLY HERITAGE FEATURES AND CEILING ROSES MATTER.
Click through to see Elyse and Josh's kid's room...
Sticks and Wombat: 25.5/30
These two dudes put a double decker bunk bed and a rock climbing wall in their kid's bedroom. AND THEY STILL DIDN'T WIN.
Clearly, they desperately needed the help of a wallpaper magician like Walter because their walls were a modern day bubbly tragedy that cost them about 4.5 points.
Click through to see Sticks and Wombat's kid's room...
Sarah and Jason: 27/30
So mum and dad had another utterly adorable quote that simply can't be ignored. This week, Jason said "It’s a privilege to be married to her" and be still my beating heart. Quite frankly Jason is the positive reinforcement we all need in our lives.
Also, they put a huge gold rhino in their room which makes them about 10,000 times more wonderful if that's possible.
The judges thought their room was "fun" because it "had a level of restraint and sophistication” which, ah, makes very little sense but perhaps the judges... uh... have a different definition of fun to us?
Click through to see Sarah and Jason's kid's room...
Ronnie and Georgia: 29/30
They're too good. Ronnie and Georgia are too good for this show.
Not only did Le Vogue Judge Man give them a perfect 10 - the first of the season - they finished with a day to spare.
Their kid's bedroom made Vogue Man say "THIS IS WHIMSY" at the top of his voice approximately 827294 times, while Turtleneck and Shaynna tried to lick the ceiling paper (which is so much more impressive than regular wall paper. Obvs.)
The orgasmic judging/licking the ceiling ceremony ended with Shaynna declaring: “This old house would be very happy to have this room,” which absolutely doesn’t make sense because it's a house and not a person but sure.
Click through to see Ronnie and Georgia's kid's room...
Until next week, ya filthy animals!
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