Today I found out there are four weeks of this show to go and I feel ill. I mean, I just can’t keep watching ceiling cornices break grown adults in two. I can’t watch another week of shitty fights about stovetops and missing building supplies. I just… it’s exhausting.
And yet, I keep coming back. Even for freakin’ hallway week.
The producers are really trying to make us think “hallway week” is a pivotal week in the season. Because of this, they begin the episode with a 10-minute montage of the contestants saying things like “this week is very important” and “hallway week is crucial” and “the hallway is the most important area of our house, if not the entire suburb of Elsternwick” on repeat
But we’re not idiots and are all well aware that… it’s just… not true.
You and I both know that hallway week is a f*cking filler week. On the upside, at least we got to hear Elyse describe Feng Shui as a “Japanese religion”.
Ahhhh, glorious. Anyway, let’s dissect the couple’s rooms (and the judge’s comments) because we’re all trapped in this together.
Hannah and Clint: 22/30
Hannah and Clint’s hallway was nondescript… kinda like that quiet kid who went to your high school and you still didn’t recognise at Year 12 graduation. In Judge Neil’s own words, “it doesn’t really give you a sense of the drama of the house… you’re going to have to walk through here to find that out for yourself.”
For all my life I thought “you have to walk through here” was, you know, the definition of a hallway. Apparently I was wrong.
Click through the gallery to see Hannah and Clint’s hallway and laundry. (Post continues…)