We’re BACK and it’s bathroom week but before we get into exposed copper taps/$1500 speakers/Wombat’s glorious beard, we need to address something deeply serious that indicates a seismic shift in not only The Block, but life as we know it.
Turtleneck Judge – whose actual name I refuse to learn because he will always be known as Turtleneck – ISN’T EVEN WEARING A BLOODY TURTLENECK TONIGHT. He’s gone rogue and it’s only the second room reveal. A confused intern handed him a leather jacket and I don’t like it.
I'm annoyed. I became accustomed to a certain uniform and I feel Turtleneck's opinions hold less weight now. This show is falling apart and the next thing we know Ronnie and Georgia will start liking each other.
This is bathroom week - AKA the week we all learned Clint and Hannah have no bloody idea what they're doing. Despite this, they seem to be of the opinion that everything will turn out OK when the entire country know it's absolutely not going to be OK.
Here's what they, erm, came up with.
Clint and Hannah: 16/30
Of one thing we are absolutely certain: Out of approximately 6708 seasons, Hannah and Clint have never watched this show before. If they had they would be acutely aware of the fact that YOU NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PUT THE TOILET IN A SEPARATE ROOM. Did you two seriously not watch Ben and Andy make this cardinal sin last year?
And yet, here we have a bathroom separate from the toilet. Pathetic.
Le Vogue Judge says it looks "sad", with a pissed off look on his face, while Shaynna and Turtleneck experience a wave of grief and anger. They all nod their heads in solemn unison about the poor, lonely toilet and I think I see a puddle of tears collect on the floor. It really is a design tragedy. I feel mortified at the fact this is on national television, and can hear Australians everywhere weeping at the injustice.
(There's also a lot of mosaic tiles, which is a decision Le Vogue Judge deems to be "bold in its intention". I have no idea what he means.)
Here's a look at the toilet sink and Clint and Hannah's interpretation of a "splashback".
While the down-lights under their bathroom cupboards remind me of a souped-up Mitsubishi Magna from 2003, I'm not sure if that's the look they were going for.
On all accounts, it's kinda crap.
Click through to see Clint and Hannah's bathroom.