Of my many shameful, far-from-attractive flaws, my taste in movies is exactly the kind of taste you have to pretend you don’t have.
Leonardo DiCaprio’s Inception? Ha, of course I got through that movie. An Academy Award-winning best picture that shines a light on the state of affairs of our world? Running out the door to see it. I love getting smarter! A foreign film, with an onslaught of hidden messages and overarching, nuanced themes? Absolutely I want to be dissecting the meaning of the world as I sit and watch some people act on screen.
Except I’m lying and I don’t.
You see, if I have to explain my movie taste in seven words or less, it would be this: “I don’t really want to think.”
And yet, I am positively sure there are many people in the world like me, because the sheer number of stupid movies that exist – and thrive – would suggest they are many others that could also wax lyrical about the beauty of not thinking.
Of course, watching said movies always comes with the added risk of walking away a little bit stupider than you walked in, but hey, at least no energy was exerted in the process, right?! (‘m kidding. Haha. Kind of.)
Anyway, in the spirit of nothing at all, I thought I would bring you the greatest worst movies of all time. Because some movies are so awful, they’re excellent.
She’s the Man
This film – where Amanda Bynes dresses up as a totally unconvincing boy to make the soccer team – is equal parts brilliant and mind-numbingly awful.
For one, the lack of realism is astounding. Amanda Bynes neither looks nor sounds like a boy, and yet, no one questions a thing. It’s just silly. Also, Channing Tatum isn’t hot when he is deliberately acting dumb.
Alas, somehow, the film comes together in a funky mash-up of bad jokes, clunky story arcs and happy endings. Winners all round.
This one, um, is courtesy of my colleague Michelle.
I feel if I try to explain the premise of the film to you – which is literally just the title of the movie – I would be doing the story the ultimate disservice.
Instead, I present to you, the trailer:
Forgive me, for even Sharknado isn’t a film my terrible movie taste will stoop to.
My colleague Clare, however, will. And has. And loved it.
When I asked her exactly what the premise was, she explained that yes, I probably could’ve just looked at the title.
“There’s a tornado… but with sharks you see.”
Clare thinks “deep down, we’re all terrified of a shark tornado” which she is wrong about, but I will humour. She adds it’s “mostly escapism” and “also combines two great genres: natural disaster movies and shark movies”.