Last night on The Bachelor, we met this season’s ‘intruders’.
Every season of The Bachelor so far has featured intruders, who enter the mansion approximately half-way through the series, yet each and every time they arrive, they’re met with complete disbelief and shock.
‘Why are you…here?’
‘He’s…our boyfriend.’
‘He already has 10 girlfriends. An extra three is ludicrous.’
But this year, there was something glaringly obvious about the three intruders.
Bachelor expert, comedian and best-selling author Rosie Waterland spotted it straight away. She said Stephanie, Sarah and Kahlia each represent a distinct male fantasy. According to Rosie, they're like three months out of the ‘Stereotypical Male Fantasy Calendar’.
And she's completely right.
Each woman arrived on some sort of unconventional transportation device. The 'girls' (for Gods sake Richie, they're women!) were heralded for their 'great sense of adventure'.
But each woman embodied a more specific archetype of the "adventurous babe," who was, in Osher's words, "up for anything."
Stephanie, a 25-year-old model from Victoria arrived on a quad bike, and straight away, it was obvious she was going to be The Sexy, Tomboy Model.
You know the type. They really just want to hang with the blokes, and meet some genuine people, but they're so attractive that modelling is inevitable. She told Richie, "I work as a model despite the adventurous side of me." Don't you hate when you're beautiful and rebellious?
Oh, and The Sexy, Tomboy Model is smart too. But effortlessly so. It's no biggie.
She's got "no fear", is "absolutely gorgeous" and can ride a dirt bike with one hand. She wasn't even trying. She doesn't even care. That's what makes her so sexy. She'd never stack it. Or fart. Or look like crap. And the best part? She's cool. She's never upright or angry. She's not jealous. She's happy for you to do your thing and she'll do her thing. Except she's happy to ride bikes together. Or not. Whatever.
Sarah, a 26-year-old sales rep from Queensland who arrived on a motorbike, is a different type of "cool girl". She's super nice, super adorable, and super happy. She's The Sweet Motorbike Girl.
She giggles a lot, and speaks a little bit like a baby. Which serves as a stark (and convenient) contrast to her risky penchant for motorbikes.
But along with her sweetness comes innocence. When Richie goes to help her get on her bike (which, in her defence, she didn't need), she's taken aback. She's not used to this 'gentlemanly' behaviour.
Romance, what's romance?!
She tells Richie that for her, being in love means "doing nice things for that person." So smiley. So agreeable. So Sweet Motorbike Girl.
Then we've got Kahlia, a 29-year-old law student from Albany. Kahlia is brunette, which we all know should be a problem for Richie. But she more than makes up for it by being The Bookish Horse Riding Lawyer.
Yes, she arrives on a horse, with long, flowing hair and that rare combination of brown hair and blue eyes. She modestly tells Richie she's studying to be a human rights lawyer, and he is blown away. He's face pretty much says: 'SHE SO SMART, BUT SHE SO PRETTY?' and it doesn't fully compute. But this is the crux of the Bookish Horse Riding Lawyer fantasy - the mystery.
You never know quite what they're thinking or what's going on beneath the surface. She wears a pants suit during the day and says important lawyery things, but then she takes out her power-bun, and BOOM - she's sexy.
She's also the type of fantasy girl you want to bring home to your family. She likes her friends, and barbecues, and beaches, and her dog. More specifically, she likes to walk along the beach with her dog.
Of course, the problem with these fantasy girls is that they're just that - fantasies. They're not real. No woman, or human being for that matter, is that one-dimensional. We're all jealous and weird and gross and silly and funny and sexy and smart and sweet in our own ways.
Here's a reminder of who's still in the running. Click through the gallery:
Last night Keira referred to Kahlia as a different "version" of Rachel. Without using the exact words, Keira tried to say that Kahlia was a thinner version of Rachel, the woman who had been on a single date with Richie earlier in the episode.
This is what's wrong with the fantasy stereotypes. Kahlia being a brunette who has a particular set of characteristics does not make her a "version" of another human being. She's just her. And Rachel is Rachel. I know reality TV and the mass media in general relies on stereotypes and establishing characters for us all to pore over and analyse, but it's to the detriment of women everywhere.
Women as 'fantasies' takes away their humanness - it objectifies them and leads to serious problems in women's real lives.
So the fantasy women are entertaining for a few episodes. But just remember that's not who they are. Because no one is a fantasy. And we'd be pretty bloody boring if we were.
