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We open on Blake Garvey doin' a haunt.
"I USED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU, YA KNOW." Things seem to be going well for him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Some grown men in costumes come walking up the driveway, and it's very exciting for them.
MY GOD.
Pascal is buried in the front yard and he's sorry about that time he asked for "hotter chicks".
"I'll take any chick who'll have me."
Elly opens the door and James sprays silly spray on his face and everyone laughs and it's embarrassing for each and every one of them.
They write some anonymous questions for a game of truth or dare and yes pls, gossip, drama, scandal etc, etc.
Someone dares Damien to give Elly a lap dance and it's the least sexy thing on this episode so far, including Pascal's foot.
Shannon gives it a crack and look... I'm not complaining.
Next, they play a game of Never Have I Ever.
One of the first questions is Never Have I Ever... cheated on a partner and Joe, James and Adrian put their hands up and so does... Becky.
Precisely all of the men are stunned that the woman they're all dating at the same time once dated two other men at the same time.
Becky explains that she did a cheat in her early 20s and she's really sorry about it. They seem to... forgive her.
The next question is Never Have I Ever... been in love and Adam (?) puts his hand up.
Everyone seems super depressed even though they're dressed up like idiots so Joe decides to bring the energy up by daring Frazer to do a nudie run through the house.
Next someone asks Elly if she hooked up with Joe before the show and how many times.
Elly explains that yes they did a hook up and spent a weekend together but then Joe did a ghost and then they both turned up on the same dating reality TV show in a COMPLETE COINCIDENCE.
James does a storm off and Elly decides that he's just "gone to the loo".
Elly takes Adam to the zoo for a single date.
They point at the animals and say things like "there's a lion" and it's groundbreaking TV to be honest.
"They'd better have bought us some KFC."
Adam takes his shirt off and Elly paints on his chest and they kiss and the lions are a bit jealous tbh.
They sit on a feelings... rock... and Elly shows Adam some rocks from her rock collection.
"MUMMA, WHY SHE SHOWING HIM A BUNCH OF GROUND BALLS?"
Becky invites Sam to the bachelorette pad for a mini-date.
They make some pasta and throw flour on each other because that's... hilarious.
Then Sam asks Becky about that time she did a cheat. Once again she has to explain that she made one mistake seven years ago.
IT'S COCKTAIL PARTY TIME.
The boys are standing around the fire attempting to solve the second greatest mystery of our time...
Does a weekend away = sex? Y/N?
Obviously, the greatest mystery of our time is why Adrian is wearing a nude turtleneck.
WHY IS HE DRESSED LIKE A VILLAIN IN A BAD NETFLIX MOVIE?
The boys call Joe over and but he refuses to solve the second greatest mystery of our time.
Elly and Adam arrive back, and Adam has a rose.
James be... p**sed.
Elly takes Frazer for a chat and James be losin' it.
A producer announces the cocktail party is over and James does a swear and a storm off.
It's very silly of him.
IT'S ROSE CEREMONY TIME.
After plenty of dramatic music and nervous stares, James receives the final rose from Elly.
Beautiful boy Aggi does not receive a rose.
Him and his glorious hair get into their limo and head back to... inner-city Melbourne probs.
UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.
Catch up on our recaps here:
Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 1: One man straight up refused to accept a rose.
Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 2: That was so embarrassing for you, Harry.
Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 4: One man leaves the show after demanding "hotter chicks".