reality tv

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: JAMES JUST CHUCKED A MASSIVE TANTY.

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Goodness. 

This show is still... going. 

We open on some screaming babies. 

The men who are on this show for that sweet, sweet blue tick and that sweet, sweet blue tick only are terrified. 

They're wondering what the blonde women are up to. 

The babies are pissed because they were promised an Osher and he's not even hiding behind the couch gigglin'. 

THIS IS BULLSH*T.  

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The sisters explain to the guys that not only do they have to look after the babies but they have to complete a list of chores too. 

Frazer and James immediately drown their babies in the pool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ while Joe and Pete clean the entire house and discuss all the screaming babies they plan to have with Elly and Becky. 

The men are exhausted because of that one time they held a fake baby and attempted to mop a floor. 

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The sisters arrive back and announce that they were watching the entire time, including the moment Frazer and James murdered the small humans and took a nap. 

Becky chooses Shannon for some one-on-one time and Elly picks Joe. 

The two couples sit on their respective feelings couches and discuss their... feelings.

Elly and Joe discuss that time they dated on the outside and then Joe ghosted her and then they SOMEHOW turned up on the same dating reality TV show. It's almost like it was planned or something. 

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This is nice and all but we was promised a STORMIN' JAMES and we would like a STORMIN' JAMES now pls. 

OK. The stormin' isn't happening... yet. 

Becky arrives at the bach pad and she's taking Adrian for a single date. 

They drive to the beach while Adrian talks about all the children he wants to have with Becky. 

Back at the mansion the bald man is worried that he hasn't spent enough time with Becky to be at the stage to introduce her to his parents. 

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SIR. YOU ARE FAR TOO LOGICAL AND DO NOT BELONG ON THIS SHOW. GO DIRECTLY TO BACHIE JAIL, DO NOT PASS OSHER AND DO NOT COLLECT A TEETH WHITENING ENDORSEMENT.

Meanwhile, Becky and Adrian are walking along the beach, talking about the... beach. 

IT'S COCKTAIL PARTY TIME. 

Osher's left a mysterious envelope on a table, and the boys are very excited. 

Adrian reads out the note which explains they're going to have a last supper and the boys can ask each other anonymous questions. 

THE STORMIN' BE COMIN'. 

The first question is "James, what is your fetish" and James straight up tells the table he likes to be dominated. 

Sweet innocent Adam is... scandalised.

The next question is "who is your biggest threat" and all of Elly's guys say Joe. 

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Someone asks Becky who Elly's type is, and she says everyone except... James. 

James starts having a swear and then someone asks about Elly and Joe's weekend away again. 

James continues to swear and huff and then he straight up gets up from the table and STORMS OFF. 

Elly says James' behaviour is red flag and even the alpacas out in the yard nod in agreement. 

"Wait until Osher hears about this."  

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IT'S ROSE CEREMONY TIME. 

Adrian receives a rose from Becky. 

Frazer receives a rose from Elly. 

Pete gets a rose from Becky. 

Joe gets a rose from Elly. 

Shannon receives Becky's final rose. The bald man seems... relieved. 

Adam receives Elly's final rose. 

James seems... shocked despite the fact he did a SWEAR and also a STORM. 

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT. 

Catch up on our recaps here: 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 1: One man straight up refused to accept a rose. 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 2: That was so embarrassing for you, Harry. 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 3: The puppet is the most interesting contestant on this show.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 4: One man leaves the show after demanding "hotter chicks".

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 5: We finally know what happened between Elly and Joe. 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 6: NO ONE IS EVEN WATCHING THIS SHOW ANYMORE.