reality tv

A very serious investigation into why Matt Agnew is (maybe) in Scotland.

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During the week of last year’s The Bachelor finale, bachelor Nick ‘Honey Badger’ Cummins fled to Papua New Guinea’s remote Kokoda Track to avoid the usual media rounds.

There are thoughts that maybe Matt Agnew too has escaped Australia just in time for this year’s finale day, with rumours swirling that the latest man to entrust Osher with his love life may have taken a leaf out of another bad bachie’s book and ‘done a Blake Garvey’.

Except instead of the vast Papua New Guinea bush, astrophysicist Matt has shared a photo of him on Instagram from the other side of the world in Scotland.

Here’s what to expect in The Bachelor finale. Post continues below video.

Video by Network 10

He captioned the photo “stormy weather overlooking Kilt Rock” and people are wondering if he’s foreshadowing stormy weather in his love life, or simply making an observation about a typical day in Scotland. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s very confusing for all of us, but especially Osher who 100 per cent thought he was done with this shit.

osher-game-feature
I. Am. So. Disappointed.

Comments on his Instagram question what he's doing so far from home, but... is Astro Boy really ditching his responsibilities in favour of hunting down Nessie, or is this all just some elaborate prank?

We here at Mamamia take investigative journalism very seriously, so fear not: We have done some digging.

As mentioned, there have been rumours of Matt pulling a Blake Garvey, which would mean already ditching his chosen woman in favour of another contestant.

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If this is true, escaping to a place as far away as possible is probably wise. Blake got a lot of flack for his decision to propose to Sam Frost, dump her and get together with second runner-up Louise Pillidge.

If that happened, the Australian public would again be unforgiving - and probably even worse this time. We've only just got over the betrayal of Mr Badger. We need a happy ending.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Just a gratuitous sunset in nature shot #sunset #nature #bulkfilters #likeprobablytoomanyfilters #definitelydidntlooklikethis

A post shared by Matt Agnew (@drmattagnew) on

There's also the possibility that he, like the rest of Australia, was seriously confused by fourth place bachelorette Emma's accent and um... ended up on the wrong island.

The good news is that our ~very important~ investigation has found one scenario is more likely than any others and that is that ol' mate Matthew is trying to trick us.

We present a few important facts:

  • Matt is very smart
  • He's said he enjoys being "aloof" and "vague" with Bachelor clues
  • He's tried to throw us off the scent before via Insta shots taken in South Australia and Western Australia
  • Post glow-up Matt traded in hooded(?) denim jackets for floral shorts and tight tees
  • Precisely three days before supposedly being in Scotland, he visited an art installation called Rain Room that costs $750 per 30 minute viewing!!!

Matt's not yet begun making #spon Instagram posts, so how's a recently graduated PhD student got the cash for that and last minute flights to Scotland, huh?

But one of the most telling signs that this is all an elaborate ruse is that Matt has not ditched his post-finale media responsibilities.

The day after the season draws to its end, the bachelor and his chosen bachelorette are supposed to do the media rounds: Interviews, TV, radio. It's a full-on day.

On Friday, Mamamia have an interview scheduled with Matt and the winner (but we haven't been told who that is, we promise!) and we're pretty sure that won't be via an international call because 1. timezones,  2. international calling fees and 3. HE'S NOT IN SCOTLAND.

So, sure. Technically Matt could've escaped Australia in anticipation of becoming public enemy #1, but we're more than a little sceptical.

Is he most likely sitting on his couch in Melbourne, eating ice cream and laughing with his best friend Osh while confusing all us plebs with curiously timed throwback photos to build anticipation and boost ratings for his reality TV finale?

We think yes. And... Damn, it worked.

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