Sorry guys, you are all wrong. The Bachelor is not going to pick Lana.

by Mamamia Team September 16, 2015

Guys. You’ve got it all wrong.

Everyone seems to think that Bachelor Sam is going to pick Lana tomorrow night to be his Happily Ever After — Lana with her luscious long hair and big eyes and many languages.

But they’re wrong. It’s going to be SARAH.

Stick with me. I’ve got research and theories and long words like ‘economically beneficial’.

A super hot business plan.

Here’s the thing. Sam has a business. I’m not entirely sure what it is, but I think it’s something to do with coaching children in health and fitness (just kidding. It’s definitely that. They talk about it EVERY FIVE MINUTES). Sam has been running his start-up business Gecko Sports for seven years, and no doubt he’ll be getting a few more job offers after this series ends (nothing suss).

Lana. She has lovely eyes. And speaks Spanish. Not enough. (Post continues after gallery):

Lana, Lana, Lana.

Image: Instagram Lana Jeavons-Felllows

sam wood lana jeavons fellows the bachelor australia

Image: Channel Ten

Image: Instagram Lana Jeavons-Felllows

Image: Channel Ten

Image: The Bachelor Australia Facebook

Image: Channel Ten

In my experience, people with a business are always thinking about their business. They spend so much time every day thinking about business, most of their sentences are something like “business business business let’s have lunch businesssssssss”.

I’m not saying business people are selfish or bad friends, they are just busy businessing. Like Sam would be.

Sam businessing.

So he needs a good business wife. Not necessarily to work at the company, but to be economically beneficial (SEE? Wait, did I use that right?) to the company. And who would make the best business wife of his final three laaay-dees?

Sarah. It’s obvious, guys. It’s so obvious.

Yeah, it’s Sarah. (Post continues after gallery):

Sarah - Sam's one true love.

Image: Instagram @___ladysarahmackay___

Sarah with her three single date invitations. Image: Instagram @___ladysarahmackay___