In the wake of last night’s episode of The Bachelor, people around Australia are spending their Thursday deconstructing Cass’ entirely nonsensical relationship with Nick Cummins’ family, as well as mourning the loss of Blair – a woman who intentionally eavesdropped on a conversation and then shared the contents of said conversation with everyone she could.
But that’s what they wanted us to see.
Because underneath the surface, there was something far more serious going on. And only a few observant souls picked up on it.
No seriously. Where is dasha? #BachelorAu
— Nicola (@Nicolar2014) August 29, 2018
Where’s Team Russia in tonight’s #BachelorAu
— kayrahmate (@kayrahmate) August 29, 2018
Rarsha Russia literally went missing, and no one, least of all Osher, even looked into it.
Let's have a quick look at the timeline of last night's episode:
First, Honey Badger took Sophie on a date, and there was a severe lack of Dasha, likely because she a) wasn't invited, and b) is a missing person.
Then, we were shown the women hanging at the mansion, but Dasha was no where to be seen. Were people acting a lil' suspicious? Maybe. Do we think one person in particular knows more than they're letting on? Perhaps.
THEN, Mr Badger's family arrived, and a number of women had conversations with his sister, brother, and father. Dasha, however, appeared absent from this entire event.
In an attempt to distract audiences from the true crime plot unravelling on national television, Brooke then attended dinner with the Cummins family, but no one could relax.
It wasn't until the cocktail party that we got our first glimpse of Dasha, but really, it could've been Tenille, because they look exactly the same.
Many on social media thought the absence of Dasha throughout the episode could be an indication she was going home, but alas, she received a rose at the rose ceremony.
So, why then, did a frontrunner go missing for almost an entire episode? These are our theories.
Osher is holding Dasha hostage until Nick lets him hand out date cards again
Last week, Nick took Dasha on a date that purposely excluded Osher and his services. Osher didn't give out a date card, or get to leave a clue, and Dasha just miraculously appeared on location for her fly fishing date.
No, Osher wasn't okay with it, and yes, we're prepared to believe he's plotting revenge.
She doesn't want to participate in group dates/games because they're... silly
Arrowtag was a waste of everyone's time, but most of all ours. Dasha is a 32-year-old mum-of-one and doesn't want to play games that don't exist in Allianz Stadium while Osher unnecessarily projects his voice to 60,000 people who aren't... present.
So she's decided to spend the week doing things that aren't made up games, such as going to work, and spending time with her son.
Dasha doesn't believe in straight up quitting your life for no reason
When Dasha arrived, she spent the night meeting the other women and Honey Badger, before getting up early the next day to live her life as normal. Because meeting a potential partner, contrary to popular belief, does not require you to cut yourself off from every other aspect of your existence in order to live in a vacuum occupied solely by a man who identifies as an animal.
She's not getting screen time because a) she's not bitchin', and b) she's not eavesdropping on other people bitchin'
This... this seems most likely.
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