Dear Channel 10: It's time for our Bachelor franchise to take a leaf out of America's book.

Ok Channel 10. You’ve given The Bachelor franchise a red hot go over the last four years. You’ve gifted us five beautiful couples, one engagement, two victories for the single mums of Australia and one total asswipe (I’m looking at you, Garvey).

But over the last season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette it’s becoming clear something has to change. We need to dial down the love and up the ante on the DRAMA.

You see, your friends over in the mighty U S of A might have a presidential candidate that looks like a walking sweet potato, but there is one thing they are doing so, so right.

And that’s The Bachelor.

Listen to Laura Brodnik and Amy Cooper discuss the final episode of The Bachelorette — and what we could be doing better in 2017.

The franchise has been going since 2002, has spawned multiple spin-offs and, most importantly, is a bloody good watch.

If you’re wondering where all the table flippers you wish you had Down Under are, there too busy causing a ruckus in America.

Seriously, for villains on the Australian Bachelor we have to settle for some sarcastic comments that can be overlayed with sinister music for dramatic effects (we’re looking at you, Keira and Sam).

On the US version, a booted Bachelor actually returned to the house and started clawing at the windows trying to get back in.

There are (potentially staged) PHYSICAL ALTERCATIONS.

Security was called (or, you know, planted for the perfect shot).

A man told his two final ladies he loved them!

That man, was one Ben Higgins. Post continues below.

Video by ABC

One guy was the runner up on The Bachelorette twice, was then shipped off to Bachelor in Paradise and is now going to be the bloody Bachelor himself!

One Bachelor got to the final two and sent them both home.


Their success rate for the couple left standing might not be great, but you know what, it’s a bloomin’ show on the telly. And what do we want from that little box more than anything? ENTERTAINMENT.

So next year, before we end up calling Quinn in to really spice things up, I have a few suggestions on how we can make the Bach bigger and better than ever in 2017.

Look, Quinn, we know you're not real. BUT WE NEED YOU. 

Think of it as constructive criticism.

It's time to change the timelines.

The US franchise thrives on recycling beloved contestants from previous seasons. This year’s Bachelor Ben Higgins? He came third in the previous season of The Bachelorette. Then his rejected lady JoJo became the Bachelorette.

We’ve tried to replicate this in Australia with Sam Frost as our inaugural Bachelorette and her third choice Richie as The Bachelor, but it hasn’t translated as well.

Richie Strahan as the Australian Bachelor with his final two, Nikki and Alex. 

Want to know why? Because while we were all enamoured with rope access technician Richie Strahan in October 2015, by the time the announcement came round and the series went to air, we’d all moved on.

Richie is a lovely guy. Him and Alex seem like a great match. But when the only real drama from the season was made by portraying his now girlfriend as a little touch of crazy, something’s got to give.

The most beloved contestants won't always make the best talent.

There are two men the US Bachelor franchise keeps wheeling out at any opportunity. This year's villain Chad? He's since been on Bachelor in Paradise and Ben and Lauren: Happily Ever After? 

The Chad. Image via Facebook/Bachelor in Paradise.

And next year's US Bachelor Nick Viall? He was chosen over the loveable (but somewhat... dull) Luke Pell despite not really being the hero everyone's after. But you know what? After two times as runner up on The Bachelorette and a stint on Bachelor In Paradise, you know it's going to be great viewing.

While Nikki Gogan is undoubtedly lovely, we don't need lovely. We need someone with a bit of spunk. Enter: Keira.

The contestants deserve the right to say their piece.

Once the spurned men and women of The Bachelor are sent packing, they have their usual media commitments. They’ll pop up on The Project and Studio 10 and we’ll hear them on the breakfast radio circuit and laugh with them on Have You Been Paying Attention?

But do you know what they really need? Two very special episodes where they get to ask about what the hell went down. If the people who get voted off the island on Survivor get to join the jury, we deserve this.

Let’s be real for a moment. These women and men have all been unceremoniously dumped on television, not by the person they were dating, but by Osher Gunsberg, shuffled into a car and sent on their merry way, NEVER TO SPEAK TO THE PERSON THEY WERE DATING EVER AGAIN. There are no drunk texts. No awkward run ins at the supermarket. Nada.


It’s fifty shades of cruel. We need a Women/Men Tell All episode where they can ask the Bachelor/Bachelorette the questions they’ve been stewing over and an After The Final Rose special so we can catch up with the final couple after the show wraps.

This year's U.S. Bachelor contestants at the Women Tell All special. Yes, one of them is holding a chicken. Image via Facebook/The Bachelor

The Spin-offs.

If there's one thing Bachelor Nation is after, it's 365 days of never-ending Bachelor goodness. And I tell you what, the U.S. producers are pretty close to delivering on year-long Bachie goodness.

We've seen a few contestants from the Australian series recycled on other reality shows, with Tim, Anna and Laurina all spending some time in the jungle for I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here. We know a lot of the contestants from different seasons end up spending time together after their seasons wrap.

So why not get the Bachelor family together in one place and put it on the damn telly? Enter: Bachelor In Paradise, where previous contestants are sent to an island for another chance at love (and fame).

Then there's Ben and Lauren: Happily Ever After? (no, that question mark is not a joke, that is actually what they called it) a show that's started screening in the U.S. that I stumbled upon after some wonderful - albeit criminally minded - genius uploaded the first episode to YouTube. (For Bach Nation newbies, Ben and Lauren were the couple from this year's U.S. Bachelor).

Image via Facebook/Ben and Lauren: Happily Ever After?

Their show so devoid of a plot line that it could have been called Two Very White People Go To The Supermarket BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY ENTERTAINING.

The US Bachelor has the dull but fascinating market nailed. They bring in former contestants and it’s just a big Bachelor reunion.

Televised weddings

Despite proposals in the finale being all but guaranteed, the success rate for the American couples isn't great. But those that do end up making it down the aisle generally share their special days with the country.

Sam and Snez, if you don’t broadcast your wedding live on Ten I’ll be pissed.

C'mon, you two. Do it for the country. 

If it’s good enough for Will and Kate, it’s good enough for you.

Is there anything else from the U.S. Bachelor franchise you would like to see in Australia?