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Um. We just found out The Bachelor contestants had 'vagina parties' and we have questions.

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Some days you find yourself just going through the motions. Other days, you learn the The Bachelor contestants had ‘vagina parties’ during their time filming the show.

I guess it’s true what they say, variety really is the spice of life. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What the foofoo are we talking about, you ask?

Kyle Sandilands is so obsessed with the vagina parties, he even asked Matt about them. Post continues below video.

Video by KIIS FM

Let us explain.

Back in early August after Vakoo was eliminated from The Bachelor, she revealed in an interview with Kyle and Jackie O that all the girls in the house “showed each other our vaginas”.

“It’s fascinating. You’re looking and you’re like, ‘wow, so yours is like that? Mine’s a bit different’.”

‘Oh’, we thought. ‘That’s nice.’

But now, for reasons that remain unclear but probably relate to 1) drama and 2) ratings, Kyle Sandilands has made a habit of asking every banished contestant about it.

When Rachael (who so happens to be maybe dating Vakoo now) left, she told Kyle and Jackie O she “had the best one” and had initiated the comparisons.

Then narrator and all-round hilarious human being Mary told Kyle that she didn’t participate.

She said “Heck no!”, which you 100 per cent just read in her voice.

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“Saturday night, they got on the wine,” she explained. “I went to bed!”

For more Bachelor goodness, listen to the latest episode of Mamamia Recaps The Bachelor: Moon Baths and Bitter Rivalries, where Rachel, Keryn and Renny debrief on what happened this week on The Bachelor. Post continues below audio.

Okay. But then we started seeing the words ‘vagina parties’, plural. As in, more than one.

So far we’ve only accounted for a single vagina party. Where did that second one come from?

Again, we turn to Kyle and Jackie O for the… scoop?

“There was more than one,” freshly-booted bachelorette Sogand told them on Thursday. “I can understand why, though. They only give us alcohol once a week, we don’t get to drink any other time, so it makes sense it went on after the cocktail parties.”

Sogand said one vagina party was enough for her, so she pretended to be asleep on the couch during #2, and honestly… fair.

Now, look. Vaginas are great. But we have to admit to having a few questions about what a ‘vagina party’ entails:

1. How does one initiate a vagina party?

Does a vagina party start with a confident “Hey! Let’s get our vaginas out!” or a casual “I’m down for a bit of vagina viewing, how about you?”

Maybe someone fakes an ‘issue’, or wonders out loud about how their pube situation compares to others.

We just want to know how it happens.

2. What makes it a vagina PARTY?

Is it the alcohol? Were there streamers? Balloons? Cake? Dancing? Hopefully no pass the parcel.

3. How does the… viewing take place?

Does everyone sit in a circle with their feet together like a starfish?

Is it more of a single file line, or a slow reveal like in that weird British dating show Naked Attraction?

Er...
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WAIT. Are mirrors involved?

4. How did they schedule it around everyone's cycles?

What happens if...

Okay no, sorry, enough said.

5. What does one do with the information they gather at a vagina party?

Vagina parties sound educational. But having learned what the vaginas or all your friends (and Abbie) look like, do you then just bank that information away in the back of your mind for eternity?

Or do you do like Rachael, and spill on a national radio show that someone in the house has a 'Barbie' vagina? And are these rules agreed upon before pants come off?

We're not sure of the answers to these questions, but we're sure Kyle Sandilands will put our minds at ease when he inevitably gets the scoop from whoever Matt sends home next week.

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