Food-poisoning is the worst feeling in the whole entire world. I still can’t eat the last food that made me sick. It was a chicken and vegetable pie.
I will never eat another chicken and vegetable pie again for as long as I live.
My husband was the same with the last food that made him sick. It was a barbecue chicken. For two years he refused to eat them and they were my easy Friday night dinner so it was really inconvenient. He just couldn’t do it.
If you’re lucky, you get a bit of warning before food-poisoning hits.
Mine always starts off with a bit of cold sweat and dizziness. Panic usually comes next because I really hate vomiting and will do anything to avoid it.
I’m not getting sick, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.
Then your entire body starts to heave and you know you have seconds to find an appropriate receptacle in which to hurl. The toilet is always good, so is the sink, the floor isn’t ideal but if that’s the only option try and aim for the part that isn’t carpeted.
A friend of mine once vomited into her handbag, and nobody noticed.
Another chose to lose the contents of her stomach using her scarf. #fashionableandconvenient
In the movie Bridesmaids all the ladies come down with major food poisoning after eating lunch at a dodgy restaurant. Article continues after this video.
Food-poisoning expert Bill Marler says when it comes to avoiding getting sick there are six foods you should avoid. You may still get the occasional bout of food-poisoning from random, unfortunate meals.
In the Food Poison Journal, Marler said to avoid these foods at all costs:
Unpasturised milk and packaged juices;
Meat that isn’t well-done;
Prewashed or pre-cut fruits and vegetables;
Raw or undercooked eggs;
Raw oysters and other raw shellfish.
I wasn’t surprised by any of that, except the packaged juices. Marler explains that one of his earlier cases involved an E. coli from juice. “There’s no benefit big enough to take away the risk of drinking products that can be made safe by pasteurization,” he says. Take that foodies.
Raw sprouts are a major cause of food-poisoning but are okay if cooked. “Convenience is great but sometimes I think it isn’t worth the risk.”
To eat meat only when it is well-done is a bit hard, particularly now that I have been educated by My Kitchen Rules and Masterchef who claim the only way to “respect the animal/protein/meat” is to serve it pink.
Other ways to avoid food-poisoning:
Avoid aioli and mayo in dodgy-looking restaurants, sticking to tomato sauce and mustard;
Store and date any leftovers;
Reheat any leftover food to boiling point;
If anything smells or looks a bit off, don’t chance it.
Marler says always ask for well-done when eating meat in restaurants, or if they look at you in horror (this is grain-fed, Angus beef raised from calf to the tune of gentle harp music) then go for medium.
His advice over raw eggs makes me sad because licking the bowl whenever mum bakes something is a childhood right and I resent the fact it can make us sick. Lucky for me I have son who is allergic to eggs so have a few egg-free recipes I can use when baking, allowing us to fight over licking the bowl like any normal family, making ourselves too sick to eat the end product.
Oh poor little oysters. They are a delicacy eaten raw but Marler says they just aren’t worth it for him. “Oysters are filter feeders, so they pick up everything that’s in the water,” he explains.
Thank goodness for Oysters Kilpatrick is all I can say.