On Saturday afternoon, my boyfriend decided it was the ideal time to mention that we were both invited to a very fancy birthday party. At 8pm. That evening.
Needless to say, I had nothing to wear. There’s an excellent Caitlin Moran quote I usually recite to myself in such situations:
“When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.'”
But for this party, I literally had nothing to wear. Like actually nothing. It’s not that there wasn’t anything that suited who I wanted to be, it’s that there wasn’t anything at all.
For a fancy party, I definitely needed a dress. And I only have two dresses. One I had worn to the last fancy party, and the other I had worn to a fancy party years ago. But there were photos. Lots of photos.
It would be like one of these ladies re-wearing their iconic movie dresses. Except not at all, because I'm not famous, and my dress wasn't that memorable. But still.
CURSE YOU, FACEBOOK.
It was then, sulking in a pile of TERRIBLE clothes, that I had an epiphany. WHY isn't there an app for this? It's 2000 and GODDAM 16. We have an app for choosing baby names. We have an app that matches people based on the types of burritos they like. We have an app for logging your poop. Why isn't there a clothes-sharing app? Like Uber, but for clothes?
We need an app that's a mixture between eBay, Tinder and Uber. You create a profile and upload pictures of whichever clothes you're willing to lend. With sizes, obviously. Then, just as Uber tells you how far away your ride is, and Tinder presents you with profiles from within a certain radius, this app would show you which clothes-lenders were close.
And you could contact them, and pick up an outfit. Not tomorrow. Not in a few hours. But NOW. You'd then return it by a mutually agreed upon date.
Admittedly, my app knowledge is very limited, and there may very well be such an app. But I don't know about it. And let's be honest, if I don't know about it, it's probably not good enough.
This scene from The Internship is the perfect representation of my knowledge of apps. Post continues after video.