For too long, coercive control has been the "invisible" reality of domestic abuse, leaving thousands of Australian women without clear legal recognition of their experiences. While NSW, Queensland and South Australia have now criminalised coercive control, other states and territories are still considering or developing standalone offences. In our new series , Mamamia is unpacking the warning signs, the profound impact, and the legal shifts, finally naming this behaviour for exactly what it is.

To protect the safety of Sarah*, some names and details have been changed.

When Sarah* left her relationship, she thought the hardest part was over.

Sarah described the relationship as becoming increasingly controlling, unsafe and abusive.

Leaving was traumatic, but Sarah believed that once she was gone, she would finally be able to start rebuilding her life.

Instead, she says the abuse followed her — both figuratively and literally.

Watch: Check out our explainer about new coercive control laws. Post continues below.

The first time she realised something wasn't right was after a trip away.

Sarah received a message from her ex-partner wishing her a safe flight home. She had not told him she was travelling.

"It made me seriously question how information about my movements was known," she told Mamamia.

"Whether I was being monitored or tracked, and whether technology was being used as part of the ongoing intimidation."

For Sarah, technology-facilitated abuse was never about discovering a hidden app on her phone. Instead, it was a series of incidents involving unexplained access to information that created the feeling that she was never beyond his reach.

'It was a pattern.'

"It was not one single discovery. It was a pattern," she said.

Over time, she became concerned about activity involving a number of different personal accounts that could be accessed online.

Sarah says she became increasingly aware of how many organisations held pieces of her personal information, and how devastating the consequences could be if those systems failed.

"A changed address, a changed email address, an account access issue or a privacy breach is not just an administrative mistake. It can become part of a much bigger safety risk," Sarah said.

As technology becomes increasingly embedded in everyday life, experts warn that abuse is evolving alongside it. And while perpetrators are adapting quickly, governments, regulators and legal systems are struggling to keep pace.

Many years after leaving the relationship, Sarah says she is still dealing with the consequences.

Her experience reflects a growing challenge confronting victim-survivors, police, policymakers and technology companies alike.

'Apps can be weaponised.'

Professor Kate Fitz-Gibbon from Monash University, says technology has fundamentally transformed the way coercive control and stalking can be perpetrated.

"Technology has not created coercive control, but it has dramatically expanded the opportunities to perpetrate it," Kate explained.

"Smartphones, location-sharing functions, smart home devices, shared cloud accounts and family monitoring apps can all be weaponised by perpetrators, creating unprecedented opportunities to monitor, track and intimidate victim-survivors."

The result is a form of surveillance that previous generations of perpetrators did not have access to.

"Technology has fundamentally changed stalking behaviours," Kate continued.

"Where perpetrators once had to physically follow someone, they can now monitor a victim–survivor's movements, communications, social connections and daily activities remotely, often around the clock. The result is a form of surveillance that can be constant and pervasive."

Importantly, Kate says, many victim-survivors do not immediately recognise what is happening.

"Technology-facilitated stalking can be difficult for victim-survivors to recognise and identify risk. Many of the abusive behaviours perpetrated involve technologies that are now embedded in our everyday lives as tools of convenience, safety and connection. Perpetrators exploit this to their advantage."

The challenge is particularly acute after separation. Research consistently shows that leaving a relationship does not necessarily end coercive control. In many cases, it marks the beginning of a new phase.

"One of the clearest findings from research on coercive control is that separation often does not end the abuse," Kate said.

"Technology allows perpetrators to continue monitoring, harassing and intimidating former partners long after a relationship has ended, creating a sense that there is no safe space and no escape from their surveillance and control."

Popular portrayals of technology-facilitated abuse often focus on sophisticated hacking or hidden surveillance software. The reality is often far simpler.

'It runs on ordinary consumer technology.'

Andrew Collins, from The Digital Safeguard Centre, says most cases involve ordinary technology being used in unintended ways.

"Technology-facilitated abuse is present in the large majority of post-separation control matters we examine," Andrew said.

"It is rarely the hacking people imagine. It runs on ordinary consumer technology, shared accounts, Find My, vehicle apps and wearables, used as surveillance."

In fact, dedicated spyware is often not the primary concern.

"Dedicated spyware is far rarer than people expect," Andrew explained.

"Why pay for a tracking app when you already have free access through shared accounts and everyday services you set up yourself?

"Most of what we see is legitimate technology turned against the person who owns it."

According to Andrew, perpetrators are generally not highly skilled cybercriminals.

"The people doing it are usually not hackers. They are tech-competent partners who set up the devices and accounts while the relationship was good, and simply never relinquished that access. They already hold the passwords, the security answers and the routines."

Sarah's experience reflects that complexity. Despite years of concerns about monitoring, access to information and privacy breaches, she has never received definitive forensic proof of spyware or a tracking device. That uncertainty is itself part of the challenge.

"The absence of a confirmed spyware finding does not mean there was no technology-facilitated abuse," Sarah said.

"Many victim-survivors cannot prove exactly how information is being accessed, especially when abuse occurs through shared accounts, institutional records, phone plans, family devices, cloud accounts, agencies or informal networks."

Family violence lawyer Carmella Acciarito says technology-facilitated abuse is one of the fastest-growing issues presenting in her practice.

"It takes many forms," Carmella said.

One of the challenges, she says, is that many victim-survivors do not realise technology is playing a role.

Carmella says there may be warning signs of tech abuse that victim-survivors should be mindful of.

"I always ask my clients: Does he seem to know things he shouldn't know? Does he arrive in places you haven't told him you'd be? Does your phone's battery drain faster than it should? These are the signs. And once we find the technology, we can use it as evidence," she explained.

Is the law keeping up?

While some forms of technology-facilitated abuse may breach surveillance and privacy laws, experts say the bigger challenge is that technology is evolving far faster than legal and regulatory responses.

"One of the biggest challenges is that technological innovation often moves faster than law reform, regulation and system responses," Kate said.

"Perpetrators are quick to identify and exploit new technologies, while governments are frequently left responding after harms have already emerged. The result is that we are playing a constant game of catch-up."

Associate Professor Matt Tyler, a policy and practice expert in violence prevention at Monash University, agrees.

"The challenge facing governments is that technology evolves in months, while law reform and building the capacity of the workforce to respond often takes years," Matt said.

"Unless we build more agile regulatory and safety frameworks, perpetrators will continue to exploit that gap."

Matt says many of the most concerning forms of technology-facilitated abuse are also the least visible.

"Access to a shared cloud account, family tracking app or connected device can enable ongoing digital surveillance of someone's day-to-day whereabouts and communications."

He says young people are growing up in a world where constant connectivity and location sharing are increasingly normalised, creating new challenges around recognising coercive and controlling behaviour.

The next frontier: AI.

Experts are increasingly concerned about the role artificial intelligence may play in expanding opportunities for surveillance and abuse. Andrew says AI is lowering the technical barriers that once limited what perpetrators could do.

"AI is now lowering the barrier further," he said.

"Things that once took some skill, finding a buried setting, writing a script, adding themselves to accounts and services, are becoming point and click. We expect the level of capability needed to surveil a partner to keep falling."

He also warns that victim-survivors searching online for help can face significant risks.

"There is an enormous amount of misinformation online, and a frightened person searching at midnight often finds advice that is wrong or actively unsafe."

At the same time, Matt says it is important not to lose sight of the underlying issue – tech abuse is a form of domestic and family violence.

"In both my research and practice work, a recurring challenge I see is that technology-facilitated abuse is often treated as a technology problem rather than a violence prevention problem," he said.

"The technology may change over time, but the underlying dynamics of power, control and coercion remain remarkably consistent, albeit accelerated by technology."

Listen: Queensland has become the second state to criminalise coercive control, but what does that mean and what about the rest of Australia? Post continues below.

What needs to change?

The Federal Government has flagged a proposed digital duty of care framework aimed at requiring technology companies to proactively identify and mitigate foreseeable harms associated with their products.

Matt believes this represents an important opportunity.

"Technology companies must move beyond responding after the misuse of their products has become commonplace," he said.

"The federal government's commitment to implementing a digital duty of care presents an opportunity to force the issue, ensuring these companies identify foreseeable risks and embed safety-by-design from the outset.

"Too often, victim-survivors are expected to adapt to unsafe technologies rather than technologies being designed to prevent foreseeable misuse."

Kate says meaningful progress will require cooperation across multiple sectors.

"An effective response to technology abuse, including digital coercive control, requires collaboration across governments, technology companies, regulators, police and specialist domestic and family violence services,' she said.

"No single sector can keep pace with rapidly evolving technologies and perpetrator tactics on its own."

For Sarah, those reforms cannot come soon enough.

"I want people to understand that technology-facilitated abuse is not always a hidden app on a phone," she said.

"It can be phones, records, banks, councils, utility providers, government departments, court material, online accounts and privacy breaches."

'Victim-survivors should not have to become investigators, privacy experts, legal advocates and technology specialists just to be safe."

As part of a new series, Mamamia is exploring coercive control — raising awareness of the warning signs, the patterns that often go unnoticed, and the impact they can have on Australian women's lives.

If you or anyone you know needs to speak with an expert, please contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) — the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

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RizeUp Australia is Mamamia's chosen charity partner, a nation-wide organisation that walks with victim-survivors of domestic and family violence to deliver practical, life-changing support. RizeUp supports women and families as they rebuild safety and stability after violence. Donate here to create safe homes and new beginnings.

Feature Image: Getty. (Stock image for illustrative purposes).