"This is why I WON'T be teaching my boys not to hit girls."

That probably sounds strange. Let me explain.

I won’t ever tell my kids – boys, sons – not to hit girls.

I never reinforce the “men don’t hit women” message.

I will not teach my sons not to hit women.

Do I think women deserve to be hit?

Absolutely NOT!

Do I think violence against women is acceptable?

Hell NO!

No more hitting. At all.

Right now, at this point in time, whilst we’re fighting for the rights of women, fighting for equality (and in a rather slap-in-the-face-with-a-wet-fish moment, perhaps, under the circumstances, the word “fighting” is highly inappropriate. Work with me here? You know what I mean, right?) and fighting to be seen and heard.

I have no problems with this fight, and support it as best I can.

Right now, at times I feel that this is at the expense of men and boys.

They are oft portrayed as beer swilling, stupid acting morons, incapable of raising children, cleaning the house or doing anything other than looking good in a suit, and attracting bimbos with a horrendously overpowering body spray.

Domestic Violence is a serious problem. Violence against either gender is not okay.

This is the case in commercials, on TV shows, in movies and more.

Most men are not like this.


Now, I want to see women respected more, for little girls to grow up to be what they want etc.

I also want this for my boys.

Which is why one of my messages to them is NOT about “don’t ever hit girls”.

Men hitting women, even from young ages, is appalling. I hate that it is occurring in such gross numbers, or that it is occurring at all.

Men hitting men, however, is also a massive issue.

No more violence. Just communication.

We see more young men in induced comas, in wheelchairs, or in coffins as a result of male-on-male violence.

Whenever I see or hear a story on the news about yet another “coward punch” and the results of that, my heart is gripped with fear.

Those stories, however, are a significant under-representation of the rates of violence between males.

The message I give my kids is not “don’t hit girls” it is a simple “Don’t hit.”



I encourage them to communicate; which, as we all know with males, is bloody difficult at the best of times. I encourage them to stop, to breathe, to walk away. To go outside for a walk or ride and get some pent up energy out of their system.

I encourage them to just do something that is not hitting, not hurting, and non-violent.


I also encourage parents with daughters to encourage their girls to learn to communicate; to both listen and to speak, to state what is really going on in a calm, informative manner.

I encourage both parents of boys and parents of girls to allow them to get whatever is on their minds, out, in a safe environment. By ‘safe’ I mean allowing them to say what’s what and not yelling or getting upset with them, not berating them, not degrading them, and, most importantly, not taking it personally.

I believe communication can solve just about anything, but it needs to go both ways.

No more hate.

Teach your boys not to hit girls, teach your girls not to hit boys. Whilst you’re at it, teach your boys not to hit boys, and your girls not to hit girls.

Teach respect whilst we’re striving for equality.

Breathe whilst you’re doing it.

Then go and have a nap when you’re done. It’s a tough road.

This article was originally on Real Mums, and has been republished with full permission.

What life lessons are you teaching your kids?

Why more? Try:

I lost my daughter to domestic violence.

Aspergers and Autism are not linked to violence.