Look, Americans aren’t famed for their sex education programs, but still, one could assume you’d emerge from ‘middle school’ with a basic understanding of the female anatomy.
Alas Twitter user Jennifer Mayers, a self-described “wife, mother, Christian” and Trump supporter, doesn’t really seem to how vaginas work, despite having squeezed at least a couple of daughters out of her own.
Here’s what she had to say on the topic of Taylor Swift’s:
In under 140 characters, Mayers manages to get a whole lot wrong.
For starters, the amount of sex a woman has will not change the size of her labia.
Secondly, it’s not very Christian to slut-shame one of the most successful pop musicians in the world (especially when she has such an impressive dating history.)
Third, what was this ‘mom’ doing tweeting about said pop star’s private parts before midday on a Thursday morning?
Four. Why did nearly 1,500 people ‘like’ this tweet? Not only does it display a gross misunderstanding of biology, sexuality and sandwich making – she didn’t even take the picture herself! (I mean, unless she watermarked it. Who is this woman?!)
Five. Women should not be compared to food (Look, I’m more flexible on this one – calling your mate a cute little muffin is A-OK.)
I could go on, but I won’t. But also to be clear, Taylor Swift’s vagina is definitely a Wonderland.
Due to the sheer amount of absurd vitriol Mayers spouts there’s some speculation her account is a fake. This may be the case, but the people who re-tweeted it most likely don’t know that.
Fortunately, there’s one thing we can all be grateful for here and that’s that this horrendous ham sandwich has spawned the hilarious counter-hashtag #IfMyVaginaWereASandwich.
While we’re on the topic of food reminiscent of genitalia, please enjoy this bizarre video about fruit fingering…