Will she or won’t she?
Taylor Swift is nominated for Best International Artist at the ARIAs, but her people have already said she won’t be there.
But that doesn’t make any sense!
Why would Swift snub the ARIAs? Doesn’t she know how prestigious they are? Doesn’t she want to complete her award statue collection with an extremely sharp and pointy ARIA? Maybe no one told her that Tina Arena is going to be there?
Perhaps she witnessed Axle Whitehead’s wang in 2006, and got a bit put off?
Or maybe, just maybe… she’s going to be there, and it’s all a huge surprise.
That’s what fans of Swift are feverishly speculating on Twitter. Wouldn’t it be just like our Tay Tay to do a surprise entrance? Wouldn’t the crowds go wild?
The official line is that Swift can’t attend the awards because she’s filming a music video somewhere near Sydney, possibly the Blue Mountains.
You know, though, she didn’t attend the recent American Music Awards, where she won Song of the Year, Favourite Album and Favourite Artist (Adult Contemporary). A bad case of awards withdrawal could lure her to the ARIAs.
I attended myself, many moons ago. It was the year 2000 and I was too young to drink. Madison Avenue performed and it was… well, like I said, I was too young to drink.
A second reason she’s likely to attend: Swift is not too young to drink, and the ARIAs are notoriously well-lubricated.
A third reason: one of her many besties, Ed Sheeran, will be there as a special guest. She enjoys having her #squad surrounding her.
A fourth! Her Australian tour support act Vance Joy is performing at the show tonight. She’ll want to check out his live clout before their tour kicks off on Saturday.
Reason five: Swift is mates with Keith Urban, and would like to meet more of his charming musically-talented country people.
A sixth, and probably the most compelling reason: Osher Gunsberg is hosting this year’s show. Taylor Swift has caught wind of rumours that his hair must be seen to be believed. She will suffer acute FOMO if she does not attend.
What more do you need? She’s OBVIOUSLY going to be there.