For many years, Taylor Swift has been held up as the prime example of the woman who can’t win at relationships.
Sure, she’s one of the best-selling artists of all time. Yes, her singles have been downloaded more than 130 million times. And definitely, she’s a hero to millions of girls around the world.
But, underneath all of that, there’s a sad belief: Taylor Swift just can’t get it right at relationships.
Following the end of her 15-month relationship with DJ, Calvin Harris, people once again took the opportunity to shame Taylor and her “many” ex-boyfriends.
The Sun wrote an “investigative” piece examining the real reasons why Harris just couldn’t put up with Swift anymore.
“Did Taylor overshare…[she] just couldn’t resist showing off her man,” the site wrote.
What was the last text you received from your ex? (Post continues after video.)
An “insider” (I know, very reliable) told E! News that Harris was “bored” in the relationship.
“Taylor wanted more attention than Adam gave,” the very reliable, very credible source told the outlet. “[He] was hoping the spark would come back, but it hasn’t.
People flocked to social media, again mocking Swift for being a “serial dater” with no hope in ever finding a real relationship.
“…But does this surprise people? She will never have a relationship with any man. She goes through them like a hot knife through butter,” one person wrote.
With another so generously adding, “Oh Taylor, you don’t have a clue what real love is, what life is about, or family is. You just jump into bed from one guy to the next, acting as thoughtless and brainless as everyone knows you are.”
Regardless of who you talk to or where you read, Swift is the common denominator. Swift is the one who can’t make these relationships work.
She is the one who’s either too clingy or jumping in bed with every guy she sees.
She’s the one who’s too committed to her career, yet at the same time wanting to “settle down” too early. She’s also the one who has a strong group of friends, which obviously means her heart’s not really in the relationship.
The truth is, we don’t know why Harris and Swift broke up, but the ongoing speculation is that Swift just can’t do relationships.
She’s a failure at loving someone and she’s a failure at making people stay in love with her.
But, that’s bullshit.
Bullshit because having a relationship end doesn’t make you bad at relationships. Bullshit it doesn’t mean you are incapable or terrible at loving someone. Bullshit because a break-up doesn’t make you unlovable.
Bullshit, most of all, because it doesn’t mean you and your life is a failure.
Every human being on this planet (unless, you’re one of those rare people who have been with the same person your whole life) has gone through a break-up.
Check out some of the most stunning photos from Taylor Swift’s Instagram. (Post continues after gallery.)
I don’t know how many friends I have seen go through guy after guy, or girl after girl. Sometimes it’s serious and other times they just wanted to be wanted.
But, never have I ever questioned whether they’re bad or good at loving someone.
Because they’re human beings.
We’re all human beings who fall in and out love with people. We’re human beings who find themselves suddenly enthralled by a person, where everything they do is magical and perfect. The very next day, we can wonder why we ever cared about a person in the first place.
We’re human beings who at one point in their life, decide to put their career first, and unfortunately, other things must go. We’re human beings who give things our very best shot, but sometimes it just doesn’t last.
After a relationship ends, we have every right to question ourselves what happened and what went wrong. We can question how we were responsible, we can wonder what didn’t make that other person completely compatible.
We can do that, but certainly not the rest of the world.
One of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me was this: “A relationship ending isn’t a bad thing for you. It can help you realise what you actually want and don’t want in a person.”
As we continue to navigate this chaotic, occasionally marvellous but mostly terrifying experience of finding someone you love (and who loves you back), a break-up doesn’t make you a failure.
It simply makes you another person on this planet trying to get it right.