couples

"He cheated, but I stayed because money was tight. Now I'm in a stage of 'preparation'."

Anyone who hasn’t been cheated on tends to think that if the worst were to happen, they’d decide to leave their partner, right there and then.

It’s hard to imagine being able to forgive a loved one for committing what is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship.

But in reality, these situations are far more complicated and sometimes the best decision is not to end things, but to try again.

This can be hard to comprehend unless you are the one in the thick of it.

But to help bring us closer to some form of understanding, four people on Reddit have shared with us their experiences.

Because they couldn’t afford to be a single parent.

“We have kids and I honestly don’t think I could afford being a single mother,” wrote user ‘gas_station_hot_dog’.

“I have a job, but I don’t think I could live off of my income alone. Plus I was still in love and willing to forgive. (That said), I can’t forget. I never will. I am reminded of it every day. Next month it will be a year since I found out. In the back of my mind I feel like it will probably happen again. I won’t stay if it does. My heart already has partially shut him out. I don’t think it will hurt as bad the next time. I already have a secret bank account so I can save up in preparation.”

Image: iStock.

Because they trusted a person could change.

Our relationship is great now. Its been over four years since the cheating, and what I think really made it work was me getting my own apartment in a shitty unit and him seeing it (when about half my stuff was moved in) really hit him hard that this was where we were," explained user mango2407.

"He said he absolutely did not want his girlfriend and son living in an apartment. He wanted better for us and vowed to change 100 per cent and he did.

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"Overall we have been together 13 years and have been engaged for the past few years, no big rush on getting married, we are just happy with the way things are now. I trust him 100 per cent and he trusts me as well. I let him go out lots where my friends cant understand that, I tell them that if he wants to cheat he will find a way, and I trust that he won't. I'm not into leashing anyone, if they want to risk it, they know the consequences. But yes have come a long way."

Because once their partner beat an addiction, things transformed.

"He took a year off drinking and is now able to have a night where he has a couple drinks and it doesn't escalate to getting black out drunk (like he was when he did shady shit). He worked his ass off to be a better person in general. It wasn't just for me - it was for him and his future (which I think made the biggest difference). We worked intensely on our communication (I grew up very emotionally closed and we didn't communicate well at all as a result)," wrote user Gurtyy.

"Six years later we are 1000 times happier than we were before he cheated. It brought us closer. That being said - I was typically the one to say cheating is a 100 per cent deal breaker. I understand my experience is unique to this situation and not everyone has such results.

"I often see people get berated for taking back a cheater. I didn't want my story to be misconstrued as blanket advice. I'm happy to see here that there are lots of stories like mine. Some people can indeed change."

One woman explains why she doesn't worry about her husband cheating on her. Post continues after audio...

Because years later, they realised they were both ready to try again.

"My girlfriend since high school (we were in college at the time) made out with a guy in Mexico. The next day she called me long distance crying and told me everything. She got drunk, they were dancing at a club and she made a stupid mistake. At the time, we broke up. I was so angry I just broke up with her on the spot. I was in a parking lot in Nashville with a long distance calling card breaking up with my girlfriend," wrote user TankandJethro.

"It took a little bit for me to realise (strangely) what an awesome person she was for confessing. I later learned that all of her friends there tried to talk her out of calling me and confessing, but she called me anyway. We had been dating for three years at the time so it hurt.

"After college I moved to Chile for four years, we kept in touch. I moved back to the US because I had a shot at getting back together with her. We've been married for over a year now and have an  eight month old daughter, she's the best thing that has ever happened to me.

"My story is kinda unique. I believe that someone who cheats might always be that way, but there are exceptions. Also, If someone is cheating on their significant other to be with you, then get ready to be cheated on later on down the road."

Have you taken someone back who cheated on you? Tell us your story below...

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