CULT BUY: The non-frumpy swimsuit with sleeves.

Update: In celebration of the brand’s second birthday, UNE PIECE is now available to purchase in David Jones stores around Australia. Yippee!

When you love the beach, ocean and the sunshine but your skin is a shade of white that Dulux doesn’t have a name for yet, there’s only one thing for it – cover up.

Confession time: I have never, ever owned a bikini. Not even when I was 21. Not even before children. Not even when I didn’t need to wear a bra at all times. Not even when I was a backpacker who actually (deep breath) went to a foam party once (yes, it was the 90s. No, I didn’t get hepatitis).

I’m pale. I’m not shredded, or ripped, I’m just me, and my pasty underbelly has only seen the sun on ill-advised skinny-dipping adventures that have ended in blisters. So, bikini? Nope. Just nope.

My dream cozzie – togs, swimmers, bathers, whatever, call them what you will – has coverage. Like most things I want to wear post-40, it has sleeves. And cleavage protection. BUT, and this is crucial – it’s not Nana. Not at all.

Enter, this gorgeous fricking number:

I never thought I'd pull off that print in a million years but actually, I just never went to pull it off in a million years (see what I did there?). It also comes in a dazzling blue, black, white, navy, a snow-leopard print... and so on.

Here's the blue one:

It's called a Une Piece (yes, I totally think that's French for one-piece) but what's even better than that is that it's also called a 'Sexie' rashie. And it is, with the zip thing going on, it is actually a little bit sexy, as well as completely grown-up, comfy, flattering and sun-safe.

It's also the result of a #ladystartup. Une Piece is the brain-baby of Carly Brown, an Aussie who had the idea while working over in the northern hemisphere, not least as a marketing big-wig at Uber. Now she's back, living in Queensland, and has her own business creating these gorgeous swimmers.

LISTEN: Apparently, G-string swimmers are a thing too, if that better floats your boat. Post continues after audio. 

So if you're like me, and are always covering your kids up while frying yourself to a crisp, just stop it. The Une Piece is not super-cheap at $195, but I promise to buy myself one cozzie a year, and my body-confidence doesn't always live up to that promise, so this one will be knocking around my Summer wardrobe for years, earning its money back.