My shyness is inversely related with my age. The older I get, the more anti-social, don’t-want-to-talk-to-anyone, don’t-even-think-about-approaching-me I become.
I was a social teenager; a ridiculously busy kid; and, as a baby? Well, I would be crawling up and down the dinner party table, disrupting everyone for attention.
Now? You’ll find me at the bar, or by the food table, definitely NOT mingling and often with an urgent appointment I need to be rushing off to.
This needs to change. For two reasons. First off, I need to meet new people, both professionally and socially. Secondly, if I continue in this trajectory, I will wind up a crazy cat woman by the age of 30, which won’t be pretty for me or the poor cats in question.
So, with this in mind, I’ve put together the best ways of surviving a party where you don’t know anyone. (Remember, the aim is to get to know someone, not drink the bar tab dry or stalk the canapés waiters.)
Time your entrance.
Your entrance needs to be precise, and it should be one extreme or the other. If you know the host (but no one else), it’s a good idea to offer to help said host in preparing the party. That way you’re ‘in’ from the start and can be introduced to guests as they arrive.
If the guests are considerate enough to trickle in – and not arrive in a huge, wildly intimidating and extremely good looking pack – you can meet your potential new friends one-by-one. You can also do this with a subtle air of superiority… because you’re such a good friend, who’s been helping the host, and everyone should want a friend like you…
If you’re not up for helping the host, there’s no other option than to arrive late. And, to do this effectively, you need to hit the sweet spot. Around 45 minutes to an hour after the party starts is usually ideal – it means your definitely not the first one there, and you’re not too late to miss the party’s upswing. (Don’t worry, you can still maintain that air of superiority, you’ve just been somewhere ridiculously important, remember?)
As Jane, 27, puts it:
Synchronise your watches, people. Your entrance is no casual affair.
Drink. Eat. Drink lots.
The bar is your best friend at a party where you don’t know anyone. Unless there’s a buffet table, in which case that is your best friend, and the bar is a close second.
Occupying yourself with food or drink is a great way to look busy, keep your hands from fidgeting and score a whole stomach-full of free delicacies in the process. (As you can tell, I’ve lost focus of the night’s goal – meeting people, Caitlin, meeting people).
Luckily, all that time at the bar will pay off in awarding you with killer conversation skills and show-stopping dance moves. Or maybe just an overestimated sense of confidence. Either way, it will have you talking to people you’ve never met, and they will respond with adoration, where-have-you-been-all-my-life responses – the fact they’re slowly backing away, does not matter. Repeat. DOES NOT MATTER.
If the party has neither a bar or a buffet, it’s probably not worth attending in the first place. If, however, you find yourself in such a situation sans friends, the most popular advice is “head to the kitchen”.