Hangovers are not fun at the best of times but they often feel like a personalised ticket to hell when you wake up with one on a work morning.
Alas, because we’re not all saints, and most of us have been there before.
So, if you’re waking up this morning grasping for the closest bottle of water while your work alarm is deafening you, follow our guide to make your hungover day at work a little more bearable.
Step number one: do not forgo having a shower in favour of an extra 10 minutes of kip. We repeat: do not skip your vital morning after-booze shower.
If you’ve hit happy hour hard enough last night to be seeing double this morning, chances are very high that alcohol is going to be oozing out of your pores all day (gross, but true), so don’t miss the chance to wash the original scent of last night’s vodka spillage off your bod.
It’s crunch time, time to show up to work and pretend everything is just dandy.
Whatever you do, don’t mention to your colleagues (and especially your boss – even if they are a ~cool~ boss) that you were up to 4am cutting shapes on the dance floor.
This way, if the mid-afternoon hangover kicks in brutally, you can plead food-poisoning-innocence… If you’re REALLY feeling dusty, throw in a few comments to your workmates about how you’ve been feeling unwell all night and think you may be coming down with something – that way they’ll be less shocked if you fall asleep under your desk in the early afternoon.
Right, you’ve made it to 10am, otherwise known as the earliest time you can possibly hit the vending machine without looking too suss. Go get yourself a can of Coca-Cola girl, the combo of sugar, caffeine and sweet, sweet fluid will give you the temporary relief you’ve been searching for.
Chances are this morning's hangover that wasn’t *too* bad is now hitting you like a hammer across the face and you’re well on your way to seedy-city. Now’s the time to stock up on every imaginable liquid. We’re talking Powerade, Gatorade, coconut water, orange juice and vitamin water. Just get it all down your throat plus more. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate sister!
Hallelujah, it’s finally lunch time, this is where you can do some serious hangover help.
According to ~science~ the best thing for your brutal hangover is carbs, carbs and more carbs. We don’t know about you, but we don’t need any more convincing to eat one of our favourite groups. Chances are you’re going to be feeling pretty sad and sorry for yourself at this point, so do yourself a favour - hit that food court and treat yo’self with your favourite meal. This should get you along just fine until about 3pm…
Listen: It ain't a kids' party if no-one is drunk. We discuss the ethics of alcohol at kids parties, on our podcast for imperfect parents. (Post continues after...)
Once 3pm hits you’re probably going to feel like you’ve been at work for about 72 hours straight, and god forbid there’s still another *gulp* two hours to go. This is when you start organising, clean out your emails, file away loose papers that have been hanging around, do anything that requires next to no brain power and will keep you from looking at the clock and counting the minutes until freedom.
You made it! Go home, have a nice long shower, eat some ice cream, binge on Netflix, get an early bedtime and for god’s sake woman, stay away from that bottle of red wine.
This piece originally appeared on Showpo.com and has been republished here with full permission.