Sex is surprising, to say the least. (Source: iStock.)
Redditors have answered this golden question: “What is something about sex that you wish someone had told you?”
We must agree that yes, all of this info would have been very useful to know.
1. Farts… but not from where you’d expect.
“I did not realise that so much air would get trapped in my vagina and the sound it would make after he pulled out,” recalled one Redditor. Otherwise known as the “queef”, the vaginal fart is a very normal part of sex. Our advice? Laugh it off. And use it as an excuse to disguise real farts.
Watch: Everything you needed to know about vaginal farts during sex. (Post continues after video.)
2. Visit the toilet. Pronto.
We can’t agree with this advice more. “That ladies you really, really, really should pee after sex. No exceptions, unless you’d like an annoying UTI.”
3. “How messy it actually is.”
Many concurred that sex on TV and in pornography appears seamless and flowing, whereas sex in real life is a chaotic jumble of limbs, appendages, lube, and condoms.
But, as one Redditor observed, “messy” can be a good thing:
“[I] overheard two women in a bar a few years ago. One of them was complaining about that point exactly. ‘Ugh.. sex is just so... messy.’
The other said ‘Well Tacos are messy...’
Nods all around.”
Let us not forget: Tacos are delicious. Enough said.
Sex toys can be good, mess-free fun.
4. “Want to come over… FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE?”
Said no-one, ever. A possible Aussie local, PamelaOfMosman, lamented her experience of “When you get invited back to a guy's place for coffee - there's no coffee.” The same can be said, these days, of being invited over to watch “Netflix and chill”. (Post continues after gallery.)
5. Sometimes, the most boring sex is the best.
You’d think that an exotic location or fun props would make sex better, but this isn’t always the case.
“Sex on a beach is not half as good as the movies make it out to be. Sand being pushed into that region burns!” Ouch.
Also, sometimes less is more. “Whipped cream and chocolate syrup sound fun in theory, but in practise creates a sticky mess that is a not fun to clean up and attracts bugs. Oh well, to each their own,” advises lostmyfoundit. Points for trying, buddy.
6. Read the instructions on medicine boxes.
“Antibiotics impact the effectiveness of birth control pills. Luckily I never had to deal with this situation, but this information definitely belongs in sex ed in high school.”
We know plenty of women who have fallen pregnant while combining antibiotics and the pill. Plenty. So, if you don’t want a baby, use a condom while on a course of antibiotics.
7. You can’t poke someone with a jelly snake.
“That the penis needs to be hard before you insert it... it was an awkward first time.” Squish!
8. What goes up, must come down.
It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries: if a man ejaculates in you, where does it all go?
“Nobody ever told me that after he came inside me it would leak back out slowly. I just thought my vagina would somehow sponge it up,” bemoaned one Redditor.
If this is still perplexing and horrifying, use a condom. Safe sex, yo!
What did you wish you'd been told about sex?