There are some very decent people in the world. Selfless people. Kind people. Charitable people. People who are prepared to put their hand in their pocket even when the economy is tanking and times are tough. People like ‘Bryan’ who made a $100 donation to a disadvantaged stranger for her boob job.

This recession has been bad news for fake boobs. I’ll dispense with all the lame jokes early and note that……

…….in a sagging economy, boob jobs are going bust. There was a 62 percent decrease in US breast augmentations last year and we’ll have to assume the local downturn is similar because it’s almost impossible to get, er, firm figures on the number of Aussie implants. Puns done.

Drastic times require ingenuity. So let’s join hands and say thanks to the kind folk at myfreeimplants.com who are working tirelessly to bring together two of the neediest groups in our community: women who want boob jobs and men who want to see boobs. Or, as the website describes them in more fragrant terms:

1.    “Women who have a strong desire to enhance their physical appearance through cosmetic surgery” 2.    “Benefactors who wish to help these women improve their self esteem and confidence through cosmetic surgery”

Yes, ‘benefactors’. Just like philanthropists Warren Buffet and Bill Gates except with silicone instead of IMMUNISATIONS FOR CHILDREN IN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES. Ahem.

The idea for myfreeimplants.com sprang from that birthplace of so many winning entrepreneurial ideas: the bucks night. In 2005, a bunch of blokes attended a bachelor party in Las Vegas. With strippers. At one drunk point, the men voted for “the most perfect set of breasts” among the topless women. Their proud owner explained they were new before her friend Natasha piped up, declaring she too wanted new boobs but couldn’t afford the US$6000 price tag.

This is when the magic of charity kicked in. One of the blokes gallantly yelled “I got $5 on it!” (I’m not making this up, it’s all on the website) and by the end of the night, the men had pledged US$1500 to Natasha.

Since this was only enough to buy half of one new boob, they realised their work was not yet done. Sober now but still charitable, they set up a website to raise the rest of the cash which they did in four months. And that’s how Natasha’s dream of big fake boobs came true. See children? Magic happens if you’re a stripper in the right place at the right time.

This Natasha:

Incredibly, the altruistic impulses of website’s founders [itals] still [itals] weren’t satisfied. Natasha was simply the first step on their noble journey to bring fake boobery to a world of underprivileged women.  “From there, we took the concept from helping out just one girl, to an entire community of girls” the founders explain.

It works like this: if you’re a woman, you set up a free personal profile with a short bio. Then you upload photos of yourself and your breasts to attract your ‘benefactors’ (Sad Sleazy Dudes isn’t quite as catchy, huh?) and encourage them to donate to your chest.

If you’re a bloke, it’s also free to join but you have to purchase on-line credit to contact the girls. This starts at US $1.20 per message and a portion of that money goes to the girl when you message her.

Here’s where it gets interesting. Or seedy, depending on your perspective. To secure donations, the impoverished flat-chested girls need to work hard. Spruiking for your surgery requires tenacity and dedication. This means actively engaging with ‘benefactors’ because there’s no such thing as a free boob job.

Many of the girls who get their implants and now reside in the Implant Hall Of Fame (seriously) admit to having spent up to 12 hours a day on the site, 5-7 days a week to raise their money. For months. That certainly puts the job in boob job.

‘Benefactors’ can request custom photos or videos from the girls. Girls out raunch each other to win attention then cash from the men who have collectively donated over US$250K over the past few months. So what men like Bryan sacrifice in the way of tax-deductible receipts, they recoup in saucy emails from cash-strapped women.

Meanwhile, everyone is so busy working this boob economy, nobody has the time or inclination to do anything decent with their money like donate to an actual charity. Why sponsor a hungry child when you can be a part of a consortium of men who own a share in a stranger’s fake boob?

“It gives them a sense of power, I suppose, like they’re a god that they’ve changed a person from just a plain Jane to a supermodel,” suggests psychologist Dr Raul Rodriguez Sora in a TV interview about the website and the thinking behind those who frequent it.

And in a wonderful circle of charity, you’ll be delighted to know that “Natasha now takes time to help other women in similar positions.” Fake-boobed women mentoring their less fortunate small and saggy-boobed sisters? Stop, I’m getting teary.