Reports say: Natalie Imbruglia has caught the attention of Prince Harry, who is said to be constantly in contact with the singer who is ten years his senior. And Imbruglia has reportedly told her friends the Royal playboy is ‘sexy’.

I had the most interesting conversation with someone I met a couple of weeks ago at a pirate party while scoffing sausage rolls on a Sunday morning. If you are ever forced to attend a four-year old’s birthday in a park on a hot day with a hangover, it turns out sausage rolls are medicinal.

I wasn’t hung-over but J, the woman I found myself talking to, was. J was recently divorced after a twelve year marriage. She was 38 and her two sons had stayed at their dad’s the previous night while she’d gone to a grown-up party. There, she’d drunk too much red wine and a 22 year old had flirted with her outrageously. I learnt all this in less than sixty seconds because women are highly efficient at exchanging personal information. What began as small talk, soon turned into a fascinating insight into what it’s like to be a newly single adult in 2009.

In short, dating has changed. It’s all messed up. No-one dates within their own generation anymore. Gen Y and Gen X date each other and occasionally they even extend the love and sexy times to Boomers (hello Kristy Hinze). But somehow, it works.

Kristy Hinze, 28, and fiance Jim Clarke, 64

Having not been single for yonks, I had many questions. “What’s it like out there?”  I began, keeping one eye open for more tomato sauce and grabbing a passing cupcake. “Oh you have no idea,” she said from behind very dark glasses. “It’s mental. Insane.” The next half an hour flew by as she verbally downloaded Dating 2.0 into my hungry ears. May the force be with you if you suddenly become single again after a long period of coupledom because you will not understand who you’re meant to date or who wants to date you. Until they make GPS for navigating the single scene, some of the following information may be useful…

If you’re a single woman in your thirties or forties, you must forget about dating men your own age or older. They do not want to date you, even a little bit. They will be looking over your shoulder at a party, scanning the room for 20-something girls. This is because they think you are too much hard work and you have too much baggage. Twenty-somethings do not carry many bags, as a rule.

The single men in their 30s and 40s are either committed bachelors who fancy themselves as George Clooney and are waiting for one of Giselle Bundchen’s sisters or, if newly single themselves, are looking for the antithesis of complex. That’s where they’ve just come from.

Freed from the constraints of a relationship with an equal, they’re looking for inequality – mentally, emotionally and physically. On their shopping list? Simple. Young. Sexy. Adoring. Easily impressed. No kids. Happily, they find this in the twenty-something women who share their disinterest in hooking up with anyone their own age. These girls are looking for a partner with experience. Direction. A car. A job. A wallet.

None of this is surprising. Older-man-dates-younger-women is hardly a newsflash. Hello Kristy Hinze again. What’s interesting is the way the dynamic has shifted among the two remaining groups: twenty-something guys and the suddenly single women in their thirties and forties.

There’s been so much written about the denigrating Cougar phenomenon that casts older women as preying upon the fresh meat of younger men. But what do you call the 20-something guys who enthusiastically pursue older women? Do they have a name? They need one. Because there are lots of them and the women they’re trying to pick up are rather bemused by their ardent attention.  Like J. “I can’t believe how full on these young guys are,” she marvelled to me. “They start flirting and at first you just assume they’re drunk or the lighting is bad and they can’t see how old you are. But even when you reveal your age, they’re not in the least bit phased. Even if you’re 15 or 20 years older! Even when you mention your kids!”

At this point we were joined by another single mum who nodded her head vigorously. “Me too!” she shrieked. “It’s the strangest thing! I keep thinking I can put them off and escape by mentioning the fact I’m a 40 year old single mother but it just seems to make them keener. I never thought I’d be with a younger guy but the ones my age aren’t interested so if you want sex or a boyfriend, there’s not much choice. I guess there are worse things than sleeping with someone who has a great body and thinks you’re fantastic. Oh God, I sound like my ex husband….he’s 41 and dating a 23 year old PR girl.”

When I was in my early twenties, I didn’t know any guys my age who dated older women. So what’s going on?

From the front line, J floated her theory. Newly single mothers aren’t looking for a commitment. They’ve done marriage and kids. They need a rest and some fun, not happily ever after. Twenty-something men are looking for the same thing. “They have no sense of consequences or the future which makes them incredibly confident,” says J. “The idea of an experienced woman who has her shit together is appealing. Also, the older divorced guys usually have kids themselves so they don’t want the hassle of someone else’s. Bizarrely, it all works out and everyone is happy.” Unless you want to make pop cultural references your partner will understand…