Sitting in the shade and SO MUCH SWEAT: 9 things people who hate summer know to be true.

Guys, we need to talk about summer.

Yes, summer. The season.

As in, the ‘fun’ season 93 per cent of the earth’s population pine for all year long and even travel across the world to chase.

Because here’s the thing: not everyone likes summer.

Before you smash your smartphone in an irrational fit of rage and curse the day I was born, hear me out.

Don’t get us STARTED on the sleepless, sweaty nights… Check out our top hacks for sleeping soundly in summer. Post continues below.

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I truly believe I am not alone in my extreme dislike for the summer months. In fact, I estimate hundreds – nay, thousands – of us secretly spend it hoping for unseasonable cold snaps when everyone else is wishing for 30+ degree days.

While our summer-loving friends are living their best lives, we are the ones left behind, overheated and flustered, nursing sweaty sunburns and rubbing chafe cream on our red raw thighs.

So for those of you out there who also hate summer, I see you. And here are nine things only we know to be true.

1. Shade is non-negotiable. Even if it means you’re always sitting by yourself.

December, January and February can be a lonely three months for people who hate summer. This is because while all your friends and family love sitting in the sun and soaking up Vitamin D, you prefer a nice, cool shady spot.

Sadly, these two are rarely located right next to each other.

Hence, you’re a loner. Or the killjoy who makes everyone sit in the shade.

Being a shade seeker also means packing up and moving whenever the sun moves. It’s annoying, but your wellbeing comes first.

2. Your entire body is covered in chafe, but mostly, your thighs.

Sure, everyone sweats in summer, but I’m willing to bet $5 that those who dislike summer actually sweat more than the average person. It’s part of the reason we hate summer so much.

And with sweat comes chafe. Thigh chafe. Underarm chafe. Boob chafe. Under bra chafe. Back of the knees chafe. And the most unforgiving, crotch chafe.

summer is the worst
It. Hurts. Image: Giphy

3. When you're not feeling sweaty, you're... damp.

Being sweaty, I can deal with. That's what tissues and a desk fan are for. But there is nothing more insidious than sitting in your own damp, stale sweat for your entire day, day after day.

That's pretty much all I have to say on this.

4. For between 3-5 months, your hair and makeup will always look sh*t.

Getting ready before work becomes a complete write-off in summer. By the time you arrive at work after a steamy train ride or walking from the bus station, your perfectly dewy, highlighted makeup look that took at least 10 minutes has slid off your face and onto the neck of your t-shirt.

Oh, and don't make me laugh by entertaining the thought that there's any point straightening your hair at home. In summer, that's a task best done at your desk.

5. "Relaxing" beach days are anything but relaxing.

Going to the beach is not a relaxing task. I call bullsh*t on anyone who says otherwise because, for some of us, such dalliances as a spontaneous beach trip require hours of admin, planning and preparation.

By the time you've organised how you're getting to and from your chosen beach, have made sure you've got enough sunscreen to cover your whole body, have looked up how much shade is available at your location and sorted a shade contingency plan if needed, have packed a year's supply of cold water, have found a pair of bathers that aren't wet and safely arrived at your destination, it's already 1pm. A.K.A. THE HOTTEST PART OF THE DAY.

It's a lot.

summer is the worst
1 pm beach trips are simply not an option. Image: Giphy.

6. Budgeting for a ridiculously high electricity bill.

In summer, some people spend all their money on drinks, food and nice summer dresses. We spend our money on air conditioning.

But it's not so bad because anyone who legitimately hates summer knows their air conditioner/multiple fans will be on almost 24/7 and has budgeted or emotionally prepared themselves accordingly.

7. Sleep is a thing that doesn't exist during summer.

Sure, there are lots of parties and you can stay at the beach until 8pm, but can we all acknowledge the universal fact that getting a good night's sleep in summer is IMPOSSIBLE?

This is especially true if you sleep in the same bed as another hot (temperature-wise) human being.

People who hate summer are usually pretty great at planning for such hot, sleepless nights. Hence the point above about air conditioning.

8. You always feel "bothered".

I can only speak for myself, but I can't help but always feel bothered in summer.

Be it the heat, the sweat or something in the air, everything seems more annoying and intolerable when the weather is super warm.

Think: lots of sighing, moaning and complaining. So much complaining.

summer is the worst
me, in summer. Image: Giphy.

9. Accepting everyone in your life is having fun and learning to live with that.

Perhaps the worst pain of all when you hate summer is having to watch every single other person on the planet having the time of their lives.

You ask yourself, why do they get to have fun while I sit here with ice packs in my bra?

The lesson every summer-hating human has to learn at some point is: all you can do is accept your lot in life. And console yourself with the thought that the chilly reprieve of winter will come again.

What's your stance on summer, do you love it or hate it? Tell us your thoughts in the comments.

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