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The strange ways this year's Bachelor couples could have got together without the show.

No one wants to be the one that runs into the party where everyone is having a good time only to knock over the table of drinks and turn the lights on.

But today, I feel like spoiling your party. Today, that killjoy be me.

Because today, reality TV fans are revelling in the glow that is the post-Bachelorette finale spotlight, where news headlines are littered with different angles on one love story and social media is awash with Sophie Monk’s face.

But although love is nice and reality TV like sugar and spice, here’s a thought: None of us have to be here.

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Not us. Not Sophie. Not Stu. Not even Jarrod.

None of us needed to go on this journey, because this love story could’ve happened without a reality TV show shipping the duo along with intimate dates, an entire film crew and the costly (read: sponsored) trip to Fiji.

It could’ve happened MONTHS AGO. All Sophie Monk needed to do was set foot on that damn (and by ‘damn’ I mean very big, very nice, yes-I’d-like-a-ride) boat when she was asked the first time.

The end. Happy days. No TV crew necessary.

You know the other way they could’ve got together? Well, ask friend of the show Tom Gleeson, of course!

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Gleeson, who had a hand in helping Sophie her role on the reality TV show by asking if she was interested on Hard Chat, tweeted this on Friday morning:

Great. Gleeson knew Stu. He knew Sophie. He knew they were single. He didn’t set them up.

Nice work, Tom Gleeson.

But wait, there’s more.

We probably didn’t have to sit through the last season of The Bachelor, either, in case you felt like two months weren’t a long time to waste.

Matty and Laura could’ve sorted themselves out well before the show started filming.

“We crossed paths,” Matty told OK! Magazine after the show’s filming had wrapped up.

“She said something to my friend in the sauna at [Sydney’s] Icebergs, but details weren’t exchanged and we didn’t contact each other.”

Sure, right, OK.

So we probably didn’t need to invest all our time and energy into the Bachelor either, because it never needed to happen.

I’m about to invoice Channel 10 for wasted energy and time. We’ve been robbed, because these people didn’t need reality TV. They already had each other in reality.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a quiet corner with a calculator, adding up all the lost time I’ve accumulated on this show over the course of this year. Cya.

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