When 22-year-old Mikhailla Glossat announced her pregnancy last month, telling her 11,000 Instagram followers the news, it was delivered with a cautious sense of optimism.
She was 18 weeks along, she wrote on the platform. Her and her fiancé Teddy were so excited to meet their little girl.
But as the couple did their best to look forward, memories of their last year were pulling them back, ever so slightly.
Mikhailla fell pregnant in January 2016, but lost the couple’s first baby at 12 weeks that March. That May, the couple experienced their second miscarriage in as many months. And then, after carrying the pain of two lost babies, gone before she could tell anyone the news, she fell pregnant again.
It was the “perfect” pregnancy, Mikhailla tells Mamamia. Though she is young, those who knew her call her an “old soul”.
“I did know I wanted to have kids within my 20s,” she says. “My fiance is in his 30s so it was a happy medium to know we both wanted the same thing around the same time. Personally, I think age is just a number, I am probably a 20-year-old that functions like a woman in her 30s.”
At 38 weeks and five days, Mikhailla went into labour and baby Foxx entered their world with a quiet cry.
“I had a perfect pregnancy, perfect labour and even after birth he was like any other newborn happy to just feed and sleep,” she recalls.
Five hours after Foxx first came into the world, he began to cough. Among the mucus he began to cough up, bits of blood came up, too.
“When his breathing started to change is when he was admitted to NICU and the tests confirmed Group B Strep. A deadly bacteria which is also transient had ultimately taken over his system.
“After birth you are so incredibly exhausted and proud of your achievements. I didn’t register for a while the extremity of what was happening. Despite doctors continually reinforcing he was very unwell I think I just thought that they are doctors and they will make everything better.”
Heartbreakingly, things only deteriorated.
“It was very touch and go and as the days passed I started to realise how bad this really was. When he started having an increasing amount of seizures, I knew that leaving hospital with empty hands was a real possibility.
“The conversations we had that day are imprinted in my mind in ways that I can’t even describe to another human that hasn’t been through this type of loss. It was almost like a room filling with a blank noise that blurs time, voices and movement. I remember just focusing on Foxx’s NICU nurse – as tears started to stream down her face I knew it was over.”