On March 4, mum and tattoo artist, Ryshell Castleberry shared a post on Facebook that – despite her best intentions – turned mums (and dads) on one another.
Castleberry took to her Facebook page to give credit to “housewives”. Annoyed with people constantly saying housewives “don’t work”, she shared a theoretical conversation where a husband complains to his psychologist about the fact his wife doesn’t work.
In short, she describes what every parent experiences. Getting up early. Being super organised. Planning on doing two millions things before the baby needs her next meal and picking up the older kids. Getting maybe two things done instead. Not being able to clock off until everyone is asleep … and then waking in the middle of the night because someone needs a glass of water.
Here’s the full post.
My wife does not work
My wife doesn't work!!!
Conversation between a husband (H) and a psychologist (P):
Q: what do you do for a living Mr. Rogers?
H: I work as an accountant in a bank.
P: Your wife?
H: She doesn't work. She's a housewife.
Q: Who makes breakfast for your family?
H: My wife, because she doesn't work
Q: What time does your wife wake?
H: She wakes up early because it has to be organised. She organizes the lunch for the children, ensures that they are well-dressed and combed, if they had breakfast, if they brush their teeth and take all their school supplies. She wakes with the baby and changes diapers and clothes. Breastfeeds and makes snacks as well.
Q: How do your children get to school?
H: My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.
P: After taking their children to school, what does she do?
H: Usually takes a while to figure something out that she can do while she is out, so she doesn't have to pack and unpack the carseat too many times, like drop off bills or to make a stop at the supermarket. Sometimes she forgets something and has to make the trip all over again, baby in tow. Once back home, she has to feed the baby lunch and breastfeed again, get the baby's diaper changed and ready for a nap, sort the kitchen and then will take care of laundry and cleaning of the house. You know, because she doesn't work.
P: In the evening, after returning home from the office, what are you doing?
H: Rest, of course. Well, I'm tired after working all day in the bank.
Q: What does your wife do at night?
H: She makes dinner, serves my children and I, washes the dishes, orders once more the house, makes sure the dog is put away as well as any left over dinner. After helping children with HW she gets them prepared to sleep in pajamas and the baby is in fresh diapers, gives warm milk, verifies they brush their teeth. Once in bed she wakes frequently to continue to breastfeed and possibly change a diaper if needed while we rest. Because she doesn't have to get up for work.
-This is the daily routine of many women all over the world, it starts in the morning and continues until the wee hours of the night... This is called "doesn't work"?!
Being a housewife has no diplomas, but has a key role in family life!
Enjoy and appreciate your wife, mother, grandma, aunt, sister, daughter... Because their sacrifice is priceless.
Somebody asked her...
You are a woman who works or is it just "housewife"??
I work as a wife of the home, 24 hours a day..
I am a mother,
I am a woman,
I am a daughter,
I'm the alarm clock,
I'm the cook,
I'm the maid,
I am the master,
I'm the bartender,
I'm the babysitter,
I'm a nurse,
I am a manual worker,
I'm a security officer,
I'm the advisor,
I am the comforter,
I don't have a vacation,
I don't have a licence for disease.
I don't have a day off
I work day and night,
I'm on duty all the time,
I do not receive salary and...
Even so, I often hear the phrase:
" but what do you do all day?"
Dedicated to all the women who give their lives for the welfare of their families
The woman is like salt:
Her presence is not remembered, but its absence makes everything left without flavor.
Share with all the beautiful ladies of your life.
***Picture credits go to: Ricky Mujica***
Unfortunately for Castleberry, not every Facebook user saw the post as a high five to stay-at-home parents. Instead, they saw it as a stay-at-home parents work harder than working parents.
At the time of publication, Castleberry's post has racked up 527,000 reactions (loves, likes and wowsers), almost 190,000 shares and 300 comments.
Working mums were pissed off, saying that they have to do all of that plus work an eight-hour day. Where's the credit? they screamed.
Stay-at-home dads and single working dads got annoyed too - saying that they do all the above and don't get high fives.
Castleberry clarified why she posted the theoretical conversation:
Let me take a minute to clarify something for people making nasty comments or sending me nasty messages. First of all, this statement is generalized... At no point am I complaining, at no point am I not giving credit to the man who does work, the mom who does work (which I DOOOO, actually, proving how generalized this is and not to be taken LITERAL,) or the stay at home DAD. IF YOU are any of those things, read the message and replace the words with words that fit your situation. No one is coming on here being so specific as to say that they do not breastfeed, their husband is a laborer not a banker or they do not have a dog; IT IS GENERALIZED. You take the POSITIVE that you see from it and leave the rest. The positive I see is that women... PARENTS take pride in all that they do, sometimes it is just overlooked and they just deserve appreciation for it. Also, as much as I am proud of myself for the things that I do, I am proud of my man for how hard he works. I never said otherwise. I KNOW this situation does not fit everyone's lifestyle, it is not a post for everyone, AND WAS NEVER INTENDED TO BE.
Castleberry also said her fiance is the best dad and supports her in parenting their kids. She said she works and only intended the post to be seen by her friends and family... not for it to go viral.
While parenting is hard and at times you can feel like you have the worst and hardest share, remember that it is hard for everyone - whether you're a mum who stays at home but is up from 3am to 6am to deal with a newborn who thinks that is party time, or whether you're a working dad who spends 10 hours at work but rushes home to help with dinner and to see his kids for five minutes before they are due to go to bed. Or whether you are a single parent who has to do it all without the support of a partner.
Everyone has it tough. Everyone is tired. Everyone is a little on edge. Everyone deserves a high five.
Or a lot of chocolate.