Being a stay at home mum with a four-year-old and two-year-old twins is loud but fun. Our house is filled with a mix of laughter, Fireman Sam role-playing, tantrums, fighting, and high pitched squeals.
When Daddy found out he was going to work from home for two weeks we were so excited to add him into our mixture… HOWEVER.
While I thought having hubby home would be a delight of family lunches and quick coffee breaks, it turns out it’s more like a series of stern facial expressions, eye twitches, and a lot of passive aggressive “shhs”.
(Disclaimer: although the whole WFH arrangement might not have worked for us, I want to acknowledge the privileged position we’re in, knowing that many families are doing it tough right now.)
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Things did not get off to a good start. At one point I tried to quietly sneak into his office to get some extra playdough, only to have my husband freeze and stare at me in horror.
He mouthed the words “I’m on a video call” as I snuck in dressed by my four-year-old in a sparkly formal dress with my braless boobs sagging, my hair looking like a fountain of oil, and enough bling on me to blind the poor unsuspecting victims.
A quick walk of shame later I decided I’d probably skip this year’s Christmas party.
Just like everyone else, we’ve been cooped up in our house where the energy and volume of my kids seem to increase with each passing day.
They’re fighting, I’m trying to get my voice heard over their screams, and out pops Daddy’s head wondering what the hell is going on. I hope his colleagues enjoyed the soundtrack, we have at least three million more to record over the next few days.
I realise it’s time for damage control, so I send the kids outside to play so he can have some quiet work time. Unknown to me the office window is open for fresh air, and the kids are now performing a Broadway production of Frozen 2 at the side of the house for him.
When I finally find a chance to vacuum the house, his face appears around the corner yet again. This time with a “does that have to happen RIGHT NOW?” expression because he’s on another phone call.
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Every SAHM knows the battle of finding a small window of opportunity to get some housework done, and my window is about to close and lock itself because the kids are now throwing down a WWE tournament and calling me for referee duty.