Why marrying your soul mate is a bad idea.

By MATILDA RUDD

Are you married to your “soul mate”?

If you are, Elizabeth Gilbert thinks you might have made a big mistake.

Elizabeth is the best selling author of “Eat, Pray, Love”  and, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably know that when she set off on a journey across the world to find herself, love (and some food along the way) she met her now-husband.

But one of the most important things to remember, she says, is that they are not soul mates.

And that’s exactly why their relationship will have a long-term future.

Watch her talk about this, below(and if you don’t have time to watch the video, keep reading, because we pretty much summarise it, below).

In her book “Eat, Pray, Love”, Gilbert wrote, “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants, but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.”

After a particularly heart-wrenching breakup, Elizabeth recalls her friend saying, ‘He probably was [your soul mate]. But you don’t understand what a soul mate is. You think it’s all roses and happiness. A soul mate is somebody who changes you. And then, sometimes, they have to leave because the intensity of the relationship is so much that you can’t actually have [stability].”

Gilbert says the person you build a life with should be your friend.

“Your partner is something else. That’s your friend. My husband is my best friend. He’s not the mirror that holds up my flaws. He’s just the guy who’s like, ‘I think you’re terrific’… It’s just simple, showing up for each other.”

Do you believe in soul mates?